Allright, you guys are just irreverent enough I'll tell you just about one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen, ever.
I grew up hunting with one of the most demented hillbillies I've ever known, he was a card. His mom was a Jehovah's witness but none of the rest of the family went to her church with her. His dad was a wiry tough as shoe leather country boy from Arkansas construction foreman type.
We went out hunting on a Saturday morning across from our houses in a big walnut orchard. A huge feral cat ran up a tree, so Andy climbed the tree and was going to catch it, why I have no idea. He is reaching for it in a limb above him when this big old tom jumps in his face and rakes the heck out of him. He comes down major pissed off and grabs his shotgun and goes down to the tree it had run up and shoots it down out of that tree.
Now he's looking at the size of the cat and he starts digging it's eye out with his finger. I'm asking him what he's doing that for and he says you'll see. He puts that eye in his shirt pocket and starts digging the other one out. I'm grossed out calling him names, he sticks the other eye in his pocket too.
So we keep shooting doves and headed back to his house. His mom dad and sister are playing a dice game at the kitchen table. Andy walks up to the table, grabs two dice, and says "dad, I'll bet you five bucks I can roll cat eyes the first roll.
See where this is headed? I'm thinking uh oh, this is going to be bad.
His dad says, Boolsh1t, you're on for five bucks. Andy pulls these nasty eyes out of his pocket, flops them down on the table where they stick instead of rolling, and says cat eyes, you owe me five bucks.
Everyone was stunned, his dad got up way quicker than I'd have believed possible and knocked him clean across the living room.
I was pretty subdued at the time, but the retelling of that story has had many a person in hysterics, especially those who knew Andy.
