I like both the 365 and the 365 XL. For me I do like the XL better by a small margin. The 365 is better for deeper concealment, being smaller.
Recoil in both is snappy, though manageable. Both are a bit more pleasant with 15 round mags, though not how we'll typically carry them.
With our guns the only direct comparison is the glock 26, a 10+1 9mm. We bought the 26 in 1997, so I know the gun quite well, having shot a few thousand rounds through it.
The 26 is both heavier and wider than the 365. The extra weight helps soak up recoil and the width of the grip helps spread it out, so it feels milder in comparison to either Sig.
A funny thing was seen at the range though. My 11 year old grandson had no issues with the 365 other than sometimes the slide not locking back on an empty mag (which Mrs also experienced). I expected that he'd find the glock a little easier to shoot and that wasn't the case. Failure to extract, failure to feed, though it ran perfectly for me.
I think it comes down to the ability & skill in gripping the gun to control it, he effectively is limp wristing it. So I think what I'm seeing is that the Sig is far more tolerable of this than the glock is, though it still sometimes manifests in the slide not locking back when the mag is empty, a minor issue. For now he isn't holding it well enough to be able to shoot the glock and have it function reliably. I'll revisit this after he's had a lot more experience with the Sig's.
As for carrying, compared to a Glock 30 I can't even tell the XL is there. It's not really a fair comparison, 10+1 rounds of 230 gr 45ACP vs 12+1 115gr 9mm, but it is the comparison of the 2 guns I'll typically carry. I used to carry my GP100 in 357 mag but that long ago became one I carry when hunting but rarely otherwise.