Kimber, I am a 68 Y.O. guy who was indeed indoctrinated at a very young age. In fact, even at that young age, I had a drug problem. That is, every Sunday, as far back as I can remember, I was drug to church. The older I got the more I actually became jaded, perhaps nearly as jaded as you. (no offense intended, actually I find you to have a fine sense of humor) Starting about the age of 18 or so I figured out that my family was very Christian on Sunday, but rest of the week, look out. I experienced other disappointments in some of the pastors, 2 of whom were actually asked to leave. One for saving many women in the church in his own special way and the other ran off with another man's wife and a huge chunk of money. Suffice it to say I was truly disgusted and began a many year search trying to determine if there was a God and if so, where could I find the best path to know Him as best I could.
I have always enjoyed deep, detailed research, whether it's finding the proper rifle/pistol/load, TV, vehicle, boat..doesn't matter, I'm not an impulse buyer. Drives my wife nuts but, when I buy something it's right for us. For close to 20 years, looking back, very dark years at that, I refused to set foot in any church. In that time I researched, in depth and in many ways, every major religion known to man, even atheism. I guess you would have called me agnostic, and rightly so.
Fast forward a few years and laying near death, told by various Docs that w/o a heart transplant I would not leave the hospital. A very sobering verdict I might add. I won't bore you here with the details but I suddenly found myself the recipient of a remarkable miracle healing after personal and intercessory prayer. A recent, second, unrelated health issue that had a dire prognosis was also healed over night by personal and intercessory prayer. Both of these events occurred overnight and were witnessed by lay and professional people.
After the first miracle I began to study, in depth, Christianity. When I say in depth I mean Seminary text books and virtually all the well known Christian authors. I manage to read 50 plus books a year and I found some amazing knowledge is available out there. Most important I now realize that all Christians and even Pastors are very fallible. I have found that I am able to sit down and have full scale discussions with 8 different Seminary professors that I have come to know and respect over the years and be accepted as an equal although I never attended Seminary.
I have seen some amazing miracles occur to others besides myself. I also understand that religion is not for everyone and that doesn't make them a bad person, simply not saved. I have no idea of your age, but I do know that at one time I was probably quite like you. I thank God my Father every day that He opened my eyes.
While God truly wishes that none should perish and the Gospel (good news) is available to all, in reality, more will likely perish than be saved. That saddens God and it saddens me and Christians around the world. Understand, we do not consider ourselves any better than those who do not believe. We are just as sinful, if not worse, than unbelievers, simply forgiven, that's the difference. When our Lord Jesus returns on that fateful day all will see the Truth, even those left behind sitting in the pews who were led astray, thinking they were saved. Being a Christian and being truly saved is not a simple thing in fact it's very difficult. And like all professions there are wolves in sheep's coverings standing up proudly, claiming to be Pastors, and insuring the doom of their flock. That's not fair some may say. My reply would be "who ever said God had to be fair? We should be grateful that He is not fair and makes sure we get what we truly deserve."
Anyway I'm not trying to proselytize, I'm merely trying to help you see the inner workings of the minds of some Christians. Please don't lump us all together like the anti-hunters do to slob hunters and honest sportsmen. I don't lump all atheists/agnostics together either. I know firsthand that God can and does call those whom He wills and after years of research and the witness of true miracles, not a man walks the earth that could ever change my mind.
Good luck on your journey and be careful, you never know when He may call you, I'm just sayin.