I havn't laughed so hard in a long time. It brought back some "great" memories.
I had it done after our third son was born. My wife and I decided that three boys was enough, and we were not going to try for a girl. So, she set me up with the appointment, and then dropped me off. Being the cheap guy I am, I'm thinking I could get this done with my K-BAR. But, as I look back at my truck, I see my wife mouth "go inside". Now, keep in mind, I live in a small town. As I was going into the urologist's office, my 60+ year old neighbor was coming out. He obviously was coming out of an appointment that involved something different than I was having. Our eyes met, we both gave kind of a half smile and nodded as we passed. I immediatly knew what he had just gone through, and he knew exactly what I was going to be doing. Talk about akward - but nothing was ever said, ever. I go in and look at a 2 year old copy of field and stream (why can't they ever get anything newer). The ugliest nurse (thank god) in the world calls me in. I stip down below the waist as instructed and then the doctor comes in, goes over the procedure with me again, and then has me lie down as he numbs the area and then leaves. He then comes back with his nurse that assists him. She is the complete inverse of the one that brought me to the room. This can not be happening. Here I am, lying on a table with just a paper blue towel lying across my waist, and the goddess of love and her double-D's walk in. I immediatly began saying a prayer to give me strength or soft or whatever. The last thing I wanted was to be embarrassed. I had to think of something else. I had to think of something depressing, like when I put my dog down. It wasn’t working – she was that hot. Thankfully, the doctor works fast. Before I know it, he's tugging on something that feels like it's attached to my tail bone. And about that time, I realize, not everything is numb. Well, that takes care of one of my concerns. Nothing like shooting pain to kill off the “present arms” salute. As he's tugging and tying knots, I suddenly get a wiff of burning flesh. I was doing good right up until that point. The smell of burning flesh usually does not bother me. But, the combinatation of the smell and the tugging got me to feeling a little queesy. Then the hot nurse looks down at me and says "you don't look so good" and starts rubbing my forehead. I’m thinking, “Oh no, not again” and at that moment, I raise my head to look at the doctor, and the door opens up, it’s the ugly nurse. She not only opens the door and comes into the room, she steps to the side, holding the door WIDE open as she announces that she is heading to lunch. Now, keep in mind - this particular room lies at the end of a short hall, and the door to the waiting room is OPEN! A young guy in his upper 20's or low 30's with his wife are sitting in the waiting room. He already looks like he is there against his will, and they look up and have a CLEAR SHOT at my view. I can see, that they can see, and they see, that I can see them seeing me - ALL of me. I remember thinking that my wife must have set this up and that I was going to have to move to another state. The rest of what happened, I guess was text book - but I'm not sure - I was already humiliated. Their was lots of tugging and burning going on. By the time he was done, he had gone through all the possible knots known to man and burned so much flesh it smelled like a cattle branding session. Trust me, I checked when I got home to make sure he didn't put his "brand" on me. As I was leaving the office, holding my specimin container for my testing to be done later, I noticed the couple sitting in the chairs. Having no dignity left what so ever, I held my head up high, and hobbled to the door. He never looked up at me, and she gave me a big smile. I'm not sure what I should take from that. And yes - this did happen. Every once in a while, I see the hot nurse or that woman at Wal-mart or somplace else in town. I wish they would move.