METH sucks

I almost hate to even mention stuff like this, and I feel bad for even doing it - but be sure you've got a good vault for your guns, and don't give her the combination. Anything else of any interest or import you may want to consider locking up as well.

Meth can make people do some really stupid things when they get desperate for another hit.

I agree though, at 29 years old, she should be her own woman.

I don't know what to tell you. But I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

I'm divorced and have a 7 year old son with my ex-wife in another school an hour away. I worry about him every day.

My wife and I now have a 9 month old daughter, and I look at the world she's growing up in, and I'm scared for her too.

I don't know what the world is coming to anymore.
 
i do have a fire proof winchester gun safe and keep everything locked up. We learned that leason long ago.
her and i have gotten in touch with teen challange, and wystar and she will be going to treatment.
i don't know how to keep her up with her probation, she has to get a job but has no car /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif
me my wife and doughter all work.
she has to go to ISP everyday and has a U.A. everyday.
but don't know how she is getting to and from there or work.
the wife and i feel the burdin isn't on her its on us. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif
oh ya i forgot she has agreed to start narcanon classes and i told her i would go with her and i'll stop smoking cigerettes. that way she will not be the only one fighting addiction. i need that as bad as she needs hers /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
 
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I also do addiction counseling. The recovery rate for meth addicts, surprisingly, is about as good as it is for other drugs or alcohol (also a drug). The difference is, recovery from meth addiction takes years not weeks or months. Your daughter needs to be in a long-term treatment program in a controlled environment. It doesn't matter if she wants it or not, in the beginning. As long as you're high or hurting/wanting to be high, you can't think clearly enough to "want" to get clean. Jail is actually the best place for your daughter right now, hard as that is to accept as a parent. It is enforced clean time. When her head clears a bit and she can have a rational thought, perhaps she'll be ready to do something about her problem. If not, they do SAP (Substance Abuse Program for Prison) in the pen. It takes what it takes for a person to get clean, some have to lose more/dig a deeper hole before they give up and surrender to the idea that the addiction is bigger than they are and they're going to have to have help to overcome it. I hope your daughter is through digging. I'll pray for her, and for you and your family.
 
wystar is a lock up treatment that is court approved. we will be taking her there. they don't have the best seccess from my research the people here are right teen challange has the best seccess i'm working on getting her both and narcanon classes tell she is accepted into wystar.
wystar has a 30,60,90 and a extencive program but they set which one she needs.
teen challange is in montana but i think she can take the curiculum while she is at wystar.
i think the faith based teen challange will sink in with jody. she was vary much my most interested child when it came to church.
i belive jesus will help her much more then i can but i will help him as much as i can.
 
My friend,

I am the father of four, aged 19, 14, 9, 5. I have not had to deal with this type of problem. I can not tell you the way to go now, although it sounds as if you went the right direction when she was a child.

I am a father, and I feel your pain. I am here if you need to talk, just a PM away. You will get through this.

My prayers are with you, your daughter, and her children.

Remember, you are not alone, we are here if you need us.

God bless,

Kurt
 
What could have i changed when she was a child? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif
she was a 4.0 gpa never got in trouble i only spanked her 3 times as a child not because i don't beleve in spanking just that she didn't need them. went to church every sunday sundaynight and wendsday. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif My other two got them almost daily.
she had hard feelings that her real dad never got in touch with her. never even a birthday card. from the time she was 1 yr old tell she was 23 yrs old she never met him. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
that wasn't our choice it was his. he still owes my wife 102,000 in back child support. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
she only had one boyfriand from 15 tell she was 23 and lost her first baby to h.e.l.p. sindrom. she has type rh- blood and it was determened that her blood and darrins blood were incompatable. they gave her a shot to fix it but it didn't take. then she got toximia at 8 months lost all the platelets in her blood had low red blood cells and high white ones.
her body sensed the baby as a infection,her kidneys shut down and then she lost the baby while they were trying to induce labor. she swelled up like a balloon.
we had the preacher there three times giving her last rights.
i was praying in hyper speed for her.
God saved my dougher but she lost her son. I got over the loss, she didn't and still hasn't.
after the baby was gone she still was having heart problems and was on really stong meds.
She allways kept in touch with her grand parents in texas and they came up to see her. they brought her real father,this was the first time she met him even though she went to texas every year and stayed a week with his parents.
This is where things went to hell, he decided she needed help when she got out of the hospital and she did. so he moved in with her. at first things were good.
soon she found out he was a meth head and he lived off her and got her doing meth. things got way out of hand and he split up her and darrin who was also useing by this time.
she ended up kicking[her father] him out of the house.[she is still in love with darrin but the relationship is unrepairable]
i went to the guy who was dealing to them and told them if she ever touched that chit again he would never hear the gun go off. darrin and i made posters and posted them up and down the street telling everyone that this was a drug dealers house
the cops couldn't do anything with out proof. darrin knew that this was where they were getting it.
we stepped in with jody and worked her off the meth and she stayed clean tell three yrs ago when she had another compicated pregnacy. she almost lost her life again but this time the baby was saved and is now doing fine.
afterwords the loss of her son came back in force and she was put on anti depressents. Mark her new boyfriand and father of her two children menally and verbally beat her down and took away any self asteem she had. didn't help take care of the kids or support them. she tried babysitting to support them but couldn't make enough money to do so.
tammy and i bought every thing for them,clothes,toys and diepers. jody got food stamps for the food. i payed for everything else.
as the kids grew she was overwelmed with the stress,she started using again and things got worse. tammy and i would not give her any kind of cash. we would buy them anything but jody wanted the cash for her habit we tryed to get her into treatment but we were powerless due to her age. she stole some of our checks and went arround writing bad checks. We prosicuted her on them and thats why she is on probation. we thought the court would give her rehab but they didn't.even though i was yelling at the probation officer that she needed help he only checked on her one time. that was last october. We tried to get her to move in with us but she went back to mark /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif and things got way worse. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
 
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CM,
The thing is, meth doesn't care who you are, what you've achieved, how much you make, how good looking you are - once you twist the dragon's tail it's gonna bite you. The problems your daughter has gotten into due to poor choices are not your fault. This stuff happens to the best parents and best kids on earth. The only sure way not to become an addict is never pick it up - and I mean any drug including alcohol.

It sounds like your daughter was a great kid, and that person is still in there somewhere. You're on the right track, but a lot is up to her. Three "Cs" to remember:

You didn't Create this.
You can't Control this.
You can't Cure this.

God and working the steps of a good program can restore your daughter. There is always hope this side of the dirt.
 
i sure hope there is still a chance i feel like i'm treating her like she is four year old again. like i'm starting all over. now today the dea wants to meet with her they want her to go to dealers and wear a wire.
i would love to see them all go to prison but i don't want her anywhere around dealers it sounds like a sure fire way for her to fall off the wagon.
i don't know what friands of hers use and don't last night see went to a friands house for 20 minots and i was in a panic. i couldn't sleep all night wondering if she used or not. i worried about my kids when they were little if they were not in sight but now i panic when she isn't in sight.
thank you six gun i needed to hear that this morning.
i keep coming here when i get down and some one allways has the right thing to say.
 
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Yeah, I know what you mean about when your kids are little. At least then, you feel like it IS up to you to take care of them and that it's within your power to do so - when they get older and start making their own decisions (not always the ones we would want them to make), you lose the ability to control their lives. I guess that's really our job as parents, is to work ourselves out of a job. But when kids fail to make good choices, it leaves us feeling helpless and frustrated. Addiction really is a family disease, isn't it? Everybody gets sick, not just the addict.

The legal complications can really be frustrating, because sometimes it seems like the duty of the law to "punish" and the needs of the addict for help with their addiction are at odds with one another.

Hang in there - your daughter needs you now more than ever; just remember what your role is. You can't do for her what she won't do for herself. You've opened the door for her to get the help she needs, but she has to walk through it. I'll be praying for her and your whole family.
 
6gunsonly.

How very tue, /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bowingsmilie.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bowingsmilie.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bowingsmilie.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bowingsmilie.gif

Kurt
 
CM,

Keep trying. My girlfriend has two grown sons who are both caught up in the same thing, both in the legal system. She doesn't show much emotion but I can tell it breaks her heart.
 
i'm feeling good about things today.
jody really put some effort into getting into treatment yesterday, went to a anger management class, talked to her lawyer, and applied herself to getting straightened out.
we found we do still have legle rights with the grandkids and after a exaustive dfs investigation there was no neglect on jodys part with the girls.{that was my biggest fear}
as far as mark the list of things that make spouse abuse is like listing his personality except he never got phisical.
jodys treatment center is set up for wemon with children.
mark and jody were never married so she has more rights to the kids than mark and if he wants a perternity test he has to pay for it.{he is to self centered and he probally won't}
so his controlling is over he has no more rights to the kids than her in fact he has less.
her lawyer told her to go take them but we don't want that we just don't need supervised visitation.
we will wait and let the legle systum tell him that.
i still want him to be a good thing in the girls life but he has no right to keep trying to control jody and us.
but i'm done kissing his butt.
mark still doesn't know the check charges were thrown out on tecnacalitys we will let them find that out on there own.
the only charges on jody are three mistameaners and probation violation.
i feel better because jody really tried yesterday and i'm taking things one day at a time.
 
There is NO ONE that meth hasn't touched in some way.
I have a friend that went through the same scenario with his daughter. Jail, kids, rehab, and everything. Just when everyone thought it was hopeless and all was lost, She came out of it.
Just remember there is always hope and anyone can change.
 
here i go again on the roller coaster ride. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
jody is doing ok she is 17 days clean /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gifgetting into treatment and about to start her intence suppervised probation. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif
thats where the problem starts. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
we were just informed everyone that inters MY house has to have a federal background check /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gifor they can't come over. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif
my phone is going to be monitered /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif they can come into my house at any time. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif even my mom and dad can't come over without there ok. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif
thats B.S. they will have to give jody a place to live /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif entell they get her into treatment. she can not stay here if those are the rules. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif so now i have to kick her out of my house when the judge came up with the idea of her being here in the first place. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif
I wanted her in jail or locked in treatment. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smiliesmack.gif
she is really trying but this is a court ordered set back. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif
she may end up homeless because of it. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
i have never broken any laws except speeding i will not be under government control. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif heck i don't even drink.
then what really put the iceing on the cake today is mark the girls dad quit his job again. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smiliesmack.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smiliesmack.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smiliesmack.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smiliesmack.gif
brook the 3 yr old has a black eye /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif and we think mark kicked her. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif we will get to the bottom of that this weekend before we call dfs. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
if he did i will be taking the girls /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smiliesmack.gif and i really don't want to raise more girls all of mine have been h#ll to raise. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif I will but at the age of 11 /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif i'm moving out i can't handle going threw puberty with girls again. it doesn't get any better with age from that point on.
I'd like to walk off into the hills and stay there but now days even that is agenst the law. maybe if i moved my camp every 14 days i wouldn't go over the forest service limit. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif
 
Oh man, you are really getting more than your share. God must have something great planned for you, otherwise he wouldn't be putting you thru all these tests!
 
Just remember God isn't the one putting you or anyone involved through this. He allows us to make our own decisions. I've been through many things in my life and involved in others lives, and have seen people get mad at God and wonder why so many times. We live in a fallen world, the devil and his tools are around us every day. I've had 3 OWI's, been to jail more times then I can count on one hand, treatment, halfway house for several months after a few months in jail. That was in the late '80's early '90's. A few years ago I almost lost my family. We were separated, she moved out, the divorce papers were signed. I gaurantee you I got to where I was at in each one of those situations because of my actions, my decisions, not anybody elses. By the grace of God today I have wonderful family, a 17 year old daughter, an 18 year old son, and a beautiful wife. Our lives are back on track because we go to Him for guidance, and try to follow Him. I'm not real great at always saying what I'm thinking, and I'm eaven worse at typing. I'm not trying to be on a "soapbox" or anything, just share my experiences with you. These are just my beliefs, and not intended to start any arguments, hopefully words of encouragement. Things can change. Out of the worst things in my life, have came the best things in my life. It's up to your daughter to make it, or allow it to happen. Hang in there!
 
Quote:
otherwise he wouldn't be putting you thru all these tests



I stand corrected. I should have said, "otherwise He wouldn't be putting all these tests before you."
 
well i'm doing my best to get all "A"s on all the tests.
some days i'm discuraged but i'm still me the more resitance i face the harder i push back.
i didn't make her move out i'm talking to probation tomarrow to see what i can do to keep the whole family from being on probation. We didn't do anything and we will not be controlled if they want those rules they better find a place for her to live because Autumn Tammy and i will not be punished and Jody will NOT be put out on the street.
Jail,Treatment center, or supply her somewhere to live.
they can not expect the imposible. My lawyer will see this threw.
I didn't ask for her to be here the court did.
she starts a job on monday and when she gets enough money together she can get her own place to live. she is better off here but not if the rest the familys freedom is taken away.
the oldest grandoughter had her birthday party today /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-006.gif so we had a crowd at the house if they say anything about it they better be prepaired for a fight my lawyer is locked and loaded.
i had a good day today. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-006.gif i have not been asked or signed one thing in this whole mess so when they try to force me to do something they will be opening a pandoras box.
my lawyer hopes they try. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
iahntr i know you are trying to help and thank you i do feel better when i talk about it here with a good bunch of guys /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-003.gif i should have refrased that too nasa /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif i should have said "i wish i knew what to do next" /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gifi'm not now or will I ever be mad at God he is my only clue of what to do next. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bowingsmilie.gif
Mark didn't kick brooke that was a relief /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif but ensted of buying groserys he bought seat belts for his stock car. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angry-smiley-055.gif
his girlfriand asked us to buy them some /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smiliesmack.gif. Mark can sell his stock car trailer to buy food. he is a dumb a$$ /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif
 
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