THE ABSOLUTE WORST THINGS TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER:

Larry the Cable Guy's Joke....

Officer-"Sir I know you are driving drunk?"

Driver-"Why Officer, is their a Fat chick in the back?
 
Larry the Cable Guy's Joke....

Officer-"Sir I know you are driving drunk?"

Driver-"Why Officer, is their a Fat chick in the back?
 
A guy I know got pulled over for going 85 in a 65. The cop walked up and asked if he knew how fast he was going. He said "yeah, about 85 cause that is as fast as this piece of schit will go!" Cop looked at him and grinned and said "I know, I used to have a Ford too" and let him off with a warning. I never get that lucky
 
A fellow bought a new corvette and was running about 100 mph when he spotted the bubble gum machine in his rear view mirror and decided to outrun the trooper. He opened her up and the trooper stayed with him. Finally the fellow decided he should stop and take his medicine.

Trooper got out and walked slowly up to the car. Told the fellow it was nearly shift change and if he could give him an excuse he had never heard before, he would let him walk.

The fellow said, "Well officer, you see it's like this. My wife ran off with a trooper a couple of months ago and when I saw your emergency lights in my mirror, I panicked; I just knew it was that trooper bringing her back!"

Regards,
hm

Oops, sorry Danny, didn't see page 1
 
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As I was doing sobriety testing on a highly intoxicated subject- "Say your alphabet from D to P" "From D to P?" "Yes, from D to P" " I can't do that, I'm a logger!"
 
Originally Posted By: CenturionAs I was doing sobriety testing on a highly intoxicated subject- "Say your alphabet from D to P" "From D to P?" "Yes, from D to P" " I can't do that, I'm a logger!"

I realize I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box, but I've read this a dozen times and I ain't gettin it?

Is this a logger thing?
 
"No, beer, I havent had any officers tonight..."


I once had a town cop tell me my license plate light was out on my Jeep Wrangler.

I said, "So my tail-light is out?"

He said "No, just the tag light."

I sad "Hmmm... That's strange, because its only one bulb for both!"

He said "Maybe you need a new bulb..."

I said, "So the light is out..?"

He said, "Have a nice day." and walked off!!

I wonder if the Cooler on a reciever rack had anything to do with the pull-over??
 
Do not ever say to the cop!
When he ask if you have been drinking because your eyes are red. do not say have you been eating donuts because your eyes are glazed.

The results are not going to be good.

lol
 
True story: A guy who had been drinking a lot wrecked.Someone waled up with a light.He ask say buddy could I borrow your light I have lost my liquor.The guy he was borrowing the light from was the sheriff.
 
Any body that lives in Cheyenne or Northen Col. knows the place this story is about.
Several years ago we were building a pipeline that ended at the compressor station at Carr , Co. and we were testing with very large compressors that needed fueled every 8 hours
or there would be very dangerous problem.
Well a bad storm came in and hwy 85 was closed.
I called Hwy patrol and got premission to go around the gates to fuel so another foreman and I got there and fueled.
On the way back we stopped at the clowns den (a strip club)
Which was closed due to the wheather and who shows up but Hwy patrol. The guy that was with me explained about the permission and that we had fueled . Hwy patrol wanted to know why we stopped at the club.
The other guy says "we did not want to bother you getting permission to come back when the club opened "
The company got a phone call ------
 
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A cop puuled a guy over in Boston that was driving impaired. When the Cop asked "Sir do you know what the penalty for driving drunk in Massachusettes is? " The Driver said.. "Election to the State Senate? "
grin.gif
 
When my high school history teacher was a college student, he and three other students went on a road trip to Georgia. They were pulled over by a Georgia state trooper who, when he saw the out of state plates, said “y’all should know you can’t go thru Georgia this fast”. One of the guys in the back replied “why not? Sherman did.” All four spent the night in jail.
 
Knowing the characters involved, I believe this story to contain not one, but two ... shreds of truth. It actually occurred in a small town, where everybody knew everybody. It could not happen today, nor could it happen in a bigger town. No names have been changed, for the Statutes of Laughter have no applicable limitations here.

One warm summer's eve, many years ago, a friend put a lawn chair in the back of his brother's pickup, climbed in and sat, facing out the back, his fishing pole in hand. On the end of his fishing line was .... an ear of corn.

About midnight, the town being "dead", they drove slowly past the town cop, dragging that ear of corn, bouncing and skittering 50 feet behind them. The officer 'took the bait', followed them, and turned on his overheads. The boys dutifully pulled over. The officer got out of the car, bent over and picked up the ear of corn ....

And John started "reeling him in".

"Mister Miller, just what do you think you're doing?"

"Fishing for pigs, Sir; and I just caught one, too!"

The officer wrote them a ticket for littering.

Their Mom worked at the police department. She said "Boys, I wish you wouldn't do these things, but this one has simply got to go to court!"

Late one afternoon, it did.
- - - - -
In court, both sides presented their stories.
His body convulsing, the judge put his face down in his arms. After recovering a semblance of composure he sat up and said, through tears of laughter, "Officer, you have just got to go out and get - your - self - a - sense - of - humor! Case Dismissed! Now Get Out'a Here!
 
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