Basically I start with the bullet off the lands by the amount that is known to work for that caliber AND depends on what type of action, bolt, semi-auto, singleshot. 22 cal, 0.025", 6mm, 0.020 - 0.015", 6.5 -7mm 0.015-0.010"...Larger calibers seem to like it up close and personal with the lands so seating at or into the lands is the way to go and you only have to work on the powder amount....or pick what you like, the rifle will tell you quickly what it like.
I start with 2-3 known powders for the cartridge, bullets, and ONE brand of primers that are known to be accurate...do a search, accurate load data is all over the place, but check with a reloading manual for confirmation the load is safe...FIRST.
I've been doing this same procedure for well over 40 years and it always works and usually relatively quickly. Some people call it the "ladder method", but it's nothing new. The same method has been used since the early 50's or before.
I fire 3 round groups first. MEASURE the groups accurately and write down the data on the target. Change ONE parameter at a time either powder or bullet seat...223 cases - two tenths grain, 308 size - 5 tenths, '06 - 7 tenths, belted mag 1 grain...up and down from your first group or 0.005" up and down for all sizes . The groups will either get larger or smaller...do an additional 2 tenths of powder or 0.005" seat depending on the direction. Once you have established which way to go then you can change both the powder amount and the seating about at the same time...say up a few tenths and out a few thou then fire a group. Nothing is locked.
The better the tune and the more accurate the rifle is to begin with the quicker you can hit a good load.
Usually but not always, the most accurate loads are near the top end of the pressure spectrum and pretty close to what the load manuals list for their specific bullets.
This is for a TUNED rifle...it doesn't work for krap if the barrel touches the stock at various points or the scope is not secure, or the receiver is not bedded well.
I use Fed Gold Metal primers or CCI BR primers for almost all my calibers and magnum primers for large cases. I like Hornady VM's for varmints but I use what the rifle likes and work up a load for Nosler, Sierra, Speer, etc just in case one happens to shoot better or the supply runs out.
I always use a bullet comparator of some kind, a Sinclair bullet seating measuring tool to measure what the OAL of a seated bullet is touching the lands...THEN decide what seat I want to start with.
Check out other forums, this subject has been covered time and time again so you can get lots of good information by digging around.
And your RIGHT...I NEVER saved ANY money reloading...and I guarantee if I had spent all the money I spent on reloading and all the rest of the "stuff", I would be driving a much nicer/newer truck and living in a much nicer home, AND not wake up at night thinking of ANOTHER rifle to build. Hahahahaha
Luck