A man walked into work Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns I noticed her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well", the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."