Stugotz
New member
A door-to-door salesman knocks on the door to a home and a 12-year old kid answers. He's wearing his father's hat and robe and holding a glass of brandy and smoking a cigar. The salesman asks "hello, is your father home?" The boy responds "Does it [beeep] look like my father is home?"
A guy dies and goes to [beeep]. He's very nervous about what he's in store for when The Devil walks up and says "Hey buddy, relax! [beeep]'s not such a bad place. Do you like to gamble?"
Guy: "Yeah. I used to hit the casinos quite a bit."
Devil: "Well you are going to love Tuesdays, that's casino day. We set up craps tables, a roulette wheel, we have blackjack and poker. Whatever your game is, we got it."
Guy: "Well that sounds cool."
Devil: "It is. Do you like smoking?"
Guy: "Yeah, I really enjoyed cigars before I died."
Devil: "Well you'll like Wednsdays. Cigars, pipes, cigarettes, whatever. Smoke your lungs out all day. And you can't get cancer, because you're already dead!"
Guy: "this place doesn't sound so bad after all."
Devil: "Do you like to drink."
Guy: "Yeah. I used to get hammered every weekend."
devil: "Thursdays are your day then. Every kind of alcohol you could want. We just get wasted all day."
Guy: "Wow, this all sounds great. [beeep] is going to be awesome!"
Devil: "you're going to have a blast here, buddy. So, are you gay?"
Guy: "[beeep] no! I'm all about the ladies!"
Devil: "Oh. You are going to HATE Fridays..."
A guy dies and goes to [beeep]. He's very nervous about what he's in store for when The Devil walks up and says "Hey buddy, relax! [beeep]'s not such a bad place. Do you like to gamble?"
Guy: "Yeah. I used to hit the casinos quite a bit."
Devil: "Well you are going to love Tuesdays, that's casino day. We set up craps tables, a roulette wheel, we have blackjack and poker. Whatever your game is, we got it."
Guy: "Well that sounds cool."
Devil: "It is. Do you like smoking?"
Guy: "Yeah, I really enjoyed cigars before I died."
Devil: "Well you'll like Wednsdays. Cigars, pipes, cigarettes, whatever. Smoke your lungs out all day. And you can't get cancer, because you're already dead!"
Guy: "this place doesn't sound so bad after all."
Devil: "Do you like to drink."
Guy: "Yeah. I used to get hammered every weekend."
devil: "Thursdays are your day then. Every kind of alcohol you could want. We just get wasted all day."
Guy: "Wow, this all sounds great. [beeep] is going to be awesome!"
Devil: "you're going to have a blast here, buddy. So, are you gay?"
Guy: "[beeep] no! I'm all about the ladies!"
Devil: "Oh. You are going to HATE Fridays..."