I know this is not the humor forum but the monkeys make me want to tell this. A man lived by himself except for his monkey, who he loved dearly. The problem was the monkey had a long tail that was always getting in the gravy and such. So the man decided the monkey did not really need the tail so he was going to cut it off. He tied the monkey around a log and cut off about 2 inches. Monkey had a fit. Then he cut of about 2 inches more and the monkey had another fit. A man watching said how much you going to cut off? All of it he said. Well said the watcher why don't you get up close and get it over with? the man with the monkey said Oh, I could not do that to him, I'm just cutting a little bit and he can't hardly stand it now.
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"Money won't buy happiness, but you can suffer a better grade of misery in a nicer part of town." Brother Bill Samples