Top 5 reasons I'm a redneck

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I talked to my older brother the other day and told him I made some predator calls out of antler and got kind of addicted, and couldn't wait to get home and try to make some more. He laughed at me, and sent me an email, of the top five reasons I'm teh biggest redneck he knows. You haven't seen these before

Title: TOP 5 Reasons you are the most hick son of a gun I know, or will ever know. drum role please ...

5. The homepage to your computer is a hunting website/forum in which other hicks can write in and discuss this vital question that tears at the very fabric of American society: "how can we kill every living varmint in this country with not just traditional weapons but with grenades, fully automatic 6,000 rounds-a-second-only-legal-in-Russia machine guns, tanks, land mines, pistols the size of Montana, traps, and satellite-guided missiles?" A daunting question that I know the hicks of America will eventually rise up and solve.

4. you not only have a subscription to "Field and Stream" but you read the damn thing totally contradicting its intended use as toilet paper on camping trips.

3. you unassemble, reassemble, unassemble and, once again, reassemble your guns to become intimately involved with the gun; as to know its inner most workings, and to become "one" with the weapon. If i were a Freudian, i would be definitely worried about this "passionate" knowledge of an inanimate object.

2. you think about furry, crop eating, disgusting, illusive animals that roam and swim the fields and channels of St. Clair county more than girls.

1. you spend brain power thinking about fashioning and/or manipulating killed animal parts into devices solely designed to lure other animals into being killed. talk about irony. need i say more...
 
...better all of the above,.. than to be a golf-playing, football-watching, sports-freak , that knows all the stats on every player, and argues the same, endlessly, as if that would change the way the game is played.

In short, to people of that sub-caliber, I say...."WAKE UP, GET A LIFE. PARTICIPATE, DON'T JUST SPECTATE!!!!!!!" Do something, instead of laying on the couch, or in the recliner!!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif
 
Guys, it was humor. I was laughing hysterically. My brother knows me so well. He's not anti anything, in fact he enjoys hunting, he's just not nearly as into it as I am. I'm sorry, I thought everybody could see the humor in this, instead, my brother is call "sub-caliber." I thought about deleting this, but I'll leave it up, and maybe people with a sense of humor can get a kick out of it

Bake
 
I'm gonna show this to my wife,and HER mother...........LOL they will ask me where my picture is.LOL

This was a Christmas gift from my wife's mother.
A_HICK.jpg
 
I thought that one of them was that you could kill, clean, and cook your own dinner. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Hey weekendwarrior

Redneck signs? I liked yours indeed.

Tonight my son and I had dinner at the local burger joint and I looked at the straw that came with the Coke I ordered. While Real Men never use straws, we were debating just what caliber it was.
 
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