THE ABSOLUTE WORST THINGS TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER:

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I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

Bad cop! No donut!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops

Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?

I pay your salary!

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
 
Officer: Can i see your License?
Suspect: Yea! Their on the back of the car.

Officer: Do you have any ID?
Suspect: ID bout what?

This was a stupid response by one of my friends along time ago.

Highway patrol: Do you have a reason for speeding?

Friend: Yes Sir I do. Theres a party and I ain`t there. Needless to say he did get a ticket.
 
When asked by a police officer why you were speeding dont be afraid to tell them the truth

Officer : Why were you speeding son?

Driver : To Be honest i was only speeding because i didnt see you.
 
My wife ,bless her heart (that keeps me outta trouble )
stopped at a red looked to the right and saw a green light so she went -oops. Told the officer at least one of the lights were green -$55.00 laugh.
 
The Number One thing not to say to an officer is..."You can't do that to me...."..It's a challenge that not too many can refuse...
lol.gif
 
My uncle rearended a police officer that had pulled another vehicle over. The officer approached him and he said to the officer, " Boy you got hear quick officer!" True story.
 
"is there a problem?"

or

"Officer, Can I donate to the policeman's ball"

"Sir, policemen don't have balls"

"Yea, that's what I've been told" hehehe
 
True story back in 1977,

I was pulled over for having a headlight out.Highway patrol walked up and said can I see your lic.

Being kinda of a smart A$$ back then I asking him if I could shoot his gun.

That guy had no sence of humer.
 
Never drove fast as a kid ..... Just flew below legal ceiling .
Trooper pulled me over late one night while I was taking my girl friend home .
"Stick your hands in your coat pockets , lean foreward and start moaning !"I told her .
"My wife's having a baby and I've got to get her to the hospital!"I told the trooper.
"FOLLOW ME!"he yelled and took off with lights and siren full bore to the local hospital er .
Grabbed us a wheel chair and helped me get my"wife"in it , wished us well and returned to duty .
Had he followed us in and found out he'd been scammed he would have probably beat me to death .
Girl was super cool to help pull that off , too
 
Got pulled over one time and the cop beat me for being a smart arse. then pulled my friend out who had'nt said a word and beat the living crap out of him too.
my friend ask the officer "whacha do that for"
officer: cause you would have gotten down the road and said "I wish he would've done that to me!"
 
I also like this one.
A guy pulls over after a long chase at high speeds,cop asked him why he was going so fast and why didn't he pull over,the guy said because my wife ran off with a cop and I thought you were bringing her back.
 
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