This was posted by a member (doorkicker) of another Forum, which is currently stationed in the "sand box", I found it quite moving.

I wrote, and continue to write this as an account of some of the things I have been through here in Iraq. I wasn't sure if I should post it, but decided what the hell...I can't think of a better group to share it with. It's long, but read it if you give a damn.

Well, I am still here in Iraq, and with reguards to this war, I can say I have seen and done some amazing things.

I've seen both cowards and heroes both young and old
Been both confident and terrified, both at the same time
I've grown to love and hate people with a fierce passion
I've given food to the starving, and water to the thirsty
I've seen the pain and uncertainty in a man, woman, and child's face right before they died
I've seen the terror in a man's face when my weapon was pointed at his head
I've looked a man in the eyes right before I put a sandbag over his head
I've tasted the burn of OC/pepper spray as I sprayed a man in the face
I've learned Arabic from a 12 year old girl who was my friend
I've waved hello back at so many passing cars, I felt like I was famous
I've been on TV 4 times, then watched the media tell lies about us
I've been in 3 papers, and was amazed at the innacuracy of my story
I've seen dozens of marriages fall apart on both ends
I've seen Iraqis cry, they were so happy that we were here
I've had Iraqis swear me up and down because I had to search them
I've heard the launch of mortar rounds as they left the tube
I've seen those same mortar rounds blow up around me and my friends
I had a friend show me pictures of his kids, and get killed the very next day
I've heard the pop-pop-pop of gunfire, and then the ping-ping-ping as it hit around me
I've seen people afraid to pull the trigger, and not kill...and I've seen people kill when they shouldn't have pulled the trigger
I've seen men in the cross hairs of the scope mounted on my rifle and I've pulled the trigger so they will never ever be seen again
I've laid countless hours on my cot trying to sleep but couldn't, because the helicopters were to loud, explosions were to close, their was to much gunfire
I've taken prisoners, guarded prisoners, and released prisoners
I've lost weight because my stomach couldn't handle the food here
I've knocked on people's doors, kicked down people's doors, and almost shot off someone's door
I've sat on a rooftop for 53 days straight looking for bad guys, and learned what patience really is
I've lost all sense of privacy, but grew closer than a brother with my squad and platoon
I've cleaned my weapon more than I have cleaned my clothes, because it was more important
I've learned to appreciate all the things I once took for granted
I've never worked so hard and got paid so little in my life, but even still worked harder
I've watched videos of Nick Berg getting his head sawed off his body while he screamed, and never wanted to kill so bad in my life
I remember when a young kid that called us "sadiq-i" (friend) brought us food each day at a checkpoint, and remember when a suicide bomber killed him and 18 other people days later
I remember a crazy lady telling me lies to waste my time for no reason
I remember a pretty girl secretly waving hello to me so nobody would see, fearing ridicule
I remember the screams of people when a restraunt exploded with innocent people inside
I'll never forget the smell of burning flesh for as long as I live...ever
I've seen Iraqi people fight alongside us one minute, then fight against us the next
I've captured dozens of weapons, some of which were gold plated
I've been in a car accident that would've killed me if I wasn't riding in an armored hummer
I've smiled and scowled, laughed and yelled at different crowds of people
I've seen a 13 year old prostitute bring money home to her father to live
I've smelled the crisp air of a new morning, and the soot and stench of cordite the next morning
I've been so hot, that I stopped sweating and my body started to shut down
I've been so tired and worn out, but still couldn't sleep for days at a time
I've seen people accidently shoot their weapons and almost kill people, and I've seen people intentionally shoot their weapons and kill people
I've never counted or carried so much ammunition in my life, and I've been around the world more than once or twice with the military
I've sat back and enjoyed an ice cold Coke, and other times I've called on the radio begging for a resupply of water and food because we were starving literally
I've seen guys "baby" their weapons, and I've seen guys treat them like hell, fully knowing it was the only thing that might save their lives
I've said "I hate here" a thousand times, and heard it said a million more times
I've seen a platoon leader curl up in the fetal position out of terror during a firefight, and a private in that same platoon fight like a savage for his life
I've seen a medic choke-up and not be able to do his job, and an infantryman next to him bandage up a wounded child
I've had kids throw rocks at me because I didn't have any chocolate candy to give them
I almost shot a 14 year old kid that pulled a gun on another kid, the toys look very real here
I've seen kids play in a virtual minefield of explosives and ordinance like they were at Disneyland
I've heard shots fired and hit the ground, ducked, jumped behind cover, and flat out ignored them
I've seen "new guys" in units come here so scared they point their guns at everything they see
I've been on missions so long, that I've come back to my FOB (base camp) with a full beard
I've sat up late at night waiting for a friend to come back from a patrol that got hit, like a parent waits for their child who's been out all night
I've made best of friends with a 17 year old kid, and a 47 year old man, and talked to both like we were old highschool buddies
I've cleaned my friend's blood off of his equipment, and turned it in because he was killed in an explosion hours before
I've seen enough different people's body parts, that I could put them all together and make a completely new body with them
I've laughed and joked with Australian soldiers, had conversations with British soldiers, and drank chi (tea) with Arab soldiers
I've seen how well our bulletproof vest work, and they do stop bullets
I've read the bible and figured I am in, or near the 'Garden of Eden'; but it hardly looks like paradise to me
I've seen fisherman fishing, kids swimming, boats and dead bodies floating in the Tigris River
I've asked myself dozens of times "Why am I here", but I know the answer, and I know if asked...I'd come back again no question
I've missed my family and still do, and I regret not spending as much time with them as I should've before I left
I've figured out who my real friends are back home, because they have taken the time to write me a letter or an e-mail
I felt sold out by my chain of command because I made a decision to shoot, and sat through an 'inquisition' for making a judgement call that I would again
I've gone on my 2 weeks of R&R and enjoyed the downtime, however was anxious to get back to this strange place
I've been to far too many memorial services of our fallen brothers, and choked up everytime, even if silently so nobody could tell
I've seen an enemy sniper cause so much pandamonia, that without a shot being fired the sniper was winning a psycological victory over us
I've traded 'war stories' with my best friend who worked in the private sector up north through countless e-mails
I've been disgusted by the double standard that I have seen day in and day out
I've lost a friend to an enemy sniper's bullet and felt helpless
I've been given a urinalyses test because people were doing drugs over here
I've seen the Iraqi people respect the military, and I've seen them totally disreguard our presence and "walk all over us"
I've searched a car we stopped in sector and found an Oklahoma license plate in the trunk with '04 tag stickers on it
I've felt my stomach knot and my heart skip a beat when a vehicle speeding by, cut his wheel and came directly at me...I was going to be blown-up for sure I thought
I've been terribly sick, but continued to work and patrol through it...mission first
I've gotten packages and letters from people I don't know, and a smile was brought to my face each time
I've had my comfort zone tested and violated by these people time and time again
I've had Iraqis throw fireworks at me on New Years, thinking it was funny that I couldn't tell it wasn't a gunshot
I've come to the conclusion that some soldiers here will return home by the grace of God, and other soldiers will come home simply because the man to the left or right of him did their job
I've seen lousy soldiers awarded medals for no reason at all, and other soldiers who rightfully deserved recognition for gallantry under fire passed over with not even a pat on the back
I've seen the clear difference between competence and arrogance in my leadership

-doorkicker

--- ThankYou! ---

WOW!

Dear Doorkicker and those that have stood by you,

this one's for you,

"Ya thou I walk through the vally of Death
I shall fear no evel
For I am the eveliest S.B. in the vally."

What you and the rest of the members have gone through allows you to be that S.B. by merit of deeds done.

God Bless, come home safe if you all can.

Doorkicker, you have my undying respect and admiration. God Bless You!

Kick ass and you and your buddies come home safe.

First, I say thank you to you and all who are serving. Second, I really think you should have that published. No joke! I felt the hair on my neck raise while i was reading that. I have been feeling bad for some time now because I am not there with you guys. I was seriously considering going into the military when i graduated H.S in 1991 but as you know, that was during the first gulf war and i didnt have the balls.I have regretted it since and for some reason, i feel worse about it now during this second campaign. Sorry for not being there for you and thanks for being what I could not and being there for me.

I pray frequently for you brave men.I have the greatest respect for you.In my trade a lot of guys think they're tough.But you brave warriors are authenticly tough.Thanks for that good read write some more.Battle must be soooo loud I can't imagin what it would be like.

Doorkicker,

I don't know your name or where you are from but I can't thank you enough for what you and your brothers are doing. I feel a huge amount of pride that you are representing our country. I feel guilty for not having served my country and shamefully, relief that I am not there alongside you. I have friends that have been in Iraq for a little over a year now and hope to see them soon.

Thank you for making the sacrifices and for the honor that you bring to your country, your family, your unit and yourself.

My daughter turns 2 yrs old this month and I look at her and know why brave men go to horrible places and fight like hell to protect us. It is so that some radical Islamist might not have the opportunity to blow himself up in a shopping mall or set off a dirty bomb and then rejoice to Allah that he has killed another American man woman or child. It is not only to protect us today, but so that her son or husband might not have to die in some godforsaken place because of the actions of brave men like yourself.

Only Americans have proved that it is worth standing up and fighting for those who are powerless to do so for themselves.
It is proven everyday that Americans will do such a thing for their fellow man in places that might not directly impact his own homeland.

Godspeed and our prayers will be with all of you guys.

LIke everone else I would like to thank you for all that you and your fellow soilders are doing...If you ever think you are going to make it to Texas your more than welcome at my house for a Cold beer or what ever else makes you happy

This letter from a true American should be required reading for all Americans. Persavier, doorkicker, There are those here that care. My family thanks you. kyray.

I pray for you and your kind every day....Thank God for you and God Bless....


Joe

Amen Brother!!

You have put to words what I think about after being in Iraq.

Task Force Tarawa
1st MEF

Doorkicker,

Well written article.

You not only have the gift of sacrifice but you have the gift of literacy as well.

Thousands of soilders, have given time, blood, and life for causes the average civilian could never comprehend.

Yet we, as soilders, and veterans, wear the courage of our convictions on our shirt sleeves.
We damn the consequences of our actions.

God Bless and God Speed.

First of all, Thank you and everyone else that serves our great country. You are all heroes and I would like to buy you all a beer someday.

Secondly, you are the reason that our country is what it is, the greatest country on earth.

Lastly, come home safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mussman.223,
Many thanks for sharing Doorkicker's account of his observations. Too few Americans understand what the military is experiencing "over there", especially, those brave soldiers, sailers, airmen and marines, who are the sharp end of America's spear. Not enough news of the day-to-day activities are shared with us.

I hope and pray, every day, that our job in that part of the world will quickly end and the service members can return to the USA, once the job is finally done.

Thanks for sharing with us, it will help you. Thanks for serving our country, thanks for enduring, thank you for freedom.

Those who have served can share some of these feelings and remember our own even though each experience is somewhat different.
"We knew the kids, the mom and dad trapped in that mess and ran to help. We found some dead some still alive, I scooped up the girl- she must survive.

Her little brother hid behind, held my leg, comfort there to find. My friend returned into the fire to free their dad, When hell got real - this was bad.

A jeep parked near was then a bomb. The sound, the force unclear but strong, had thrown my weapon against the wall and bent Mattel, the toy looked wrong.

I clutched the girl and ran for cover and yelled at little brother. Confused and lost he stood alone while bullets crashed and bounced around, he stood like stone.

No one would move, we could not see the source of fire which came instantly. I cursed and then returned and ran and danced to save the stone"

Well, all wars are different and yet the same.
God bless you and protect you.

Man what can i say that hasn't been said. I was in the navy for 4 years and in the guard for 6. I think about you guys EVERY day. It makes me sick and near tears to know that theirs kids back here whose daddys aren't coming home. I had a brother and cousin in the gulf war. My son who just graduated high school told me he wanted to go in the army. He didn't like the idea of "our" guys over there getting killed and him sitting here doing nothing, although he works and goes to school. I watched my mom and brother suffer and die from cancer when i was a kid. I'm very close to my 3 kids. The thought of him getting killed over there...i don't think i would ever recover. I didn't try to talk him out of it but told him to give it some thought. I really have mixed emotions about it. I'm not a man of many words and even if i was i couldn't begin to explain the respect and pride i have. god bless you and your familys and may the bad guys burn an eternal hell

I would like to say thank you to you Mussman.223 and the rest of the soldiers in Iraq and around the world who are fighting for all of us here at home. I don't personally know anyone who is serving in Iraq, but still say a prayer every night for those I don't know that are fighting for my safety and freedoms. That piece of writing almost moved me to tears a few times through the reading and there isn't much that can get me to that point. This a little off topic, but has PM had a collection or sent anything to our soldiers serving in Iraq. I would be more than willing to send a contribution if anything is/has been organized. Thank you and God Bless Mussman.223. _ Justin

Doorkicker is a member of Snipers Hide forum, that is where this post originally came from. All I could think then, and there.....was WOW! We owe these people more than we will ever know, and all I can say is thank you, and God Bless!

Jake

from one veteran to another "thank you from the bottom of my heart"

My brother was in Vietnam for 5 consecutive years doing air rescue. Reading your post sure brought back memories of his letters to me. I pray for you guys every day and look forward to the day you can all come home. You are all heroes in my eyes.

DK

i am not a guy of many words but i can say that that was truly moving


GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN IN THE SERVICE, THANK YOU, PLEASE RETURN HOME SAFELY

You have my deapest sympathy for your losses (past,present, and future), my appology for not being there with you, and all my love...!!! Thankyou.
God Bless and God speed...

Brien

God speed, To you & all the men & women out there getting it done. God bless.

I would like to say THANKYOU for your service and for giving us all the opportunity to live in a free society. You
are all the true givers of Freedom and I am proud of every
one of you. I don't know how I can ever repay you for what
all you have done and continue to do for your country. Please come home safe and sound you are all loved and missed
God bless you all and God speed...

Thanks for serving our country.

All I can say is thank you, and God bless you.

that was great. Thank you for your service. I respect you guys more than anyone. Godspeed on a safe return.

Absolutely amazing...you should send that to a tv station and have them read it on the news


Thanks

I'm with everyone else here. Though he may not read our replies, thanks all the same.
God Speed

My brother is currently serving in Iraq.... May he and all the Soldiers get home safe...

God bless you all and Thanks for protecting our country and our way of life.

Thank you to all our service Men & Women...
"a truly GREAT post!!!" amen... -Kim-

To all that serve in the armed forces of the United States of America, May God Bless each and everyone of you! We all pray for your safe return!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Hi Doorkicker,

I have never served inthe military. I had a passion to study it as a kid and still do. Your post was truly amazing.
I have no words to express my thanks to you. I fully support the war and the pesident of the U.S. G W Bush. I just wish the media would report the news as it happens. The good along with the bad. Cut no corners and no editing.
Then the people of this country would support this war. I have studied a lot of history in my day and understand why policy is the way it is. The only thing is is that not very many people are educated in history and these people are the liberals, be they republican or dummycrats. Sir, My hat is off to you and all others who have ever served our country to protect our freedoms and way of life.

Thank you so much
RTLOF 18918B (TONY)

God bless you, Brother. You are appreciated. Come home in one piece.

All of you soldiers, past and present, have a special place in my heart! Thanks.

That was a great post by and much kudos to doorkicker!
I got a question for you all, how many of you miss it?
I have been through hell and back and have seen difffrent levels of it during my combat tours and its by the grace of god that I still walk this earth. I dont tell war stories and I dont like people asking so I answer them with this. If I didnt have a wife and 3 kids I'd still be over there today. I dont know if thats because I'm a twisted indivudial but I miss it or maybe its because Marines are happiest in a combat zone who knows. Its one of the reasons I joined the Fire service after I got out I need that adrenaline high now to feel like I'm really living. Who knows dont know if this is hijacking the thread or not just figured it would be a good place to post it since it seems that we have a large population of veterans young and old. Go figure allot of us like to shoot predators lol

Doorkicker- Thanks for keepin' it real!

F.I.D.O Soldier!

WOW!!

doorkicker....i was with 2/2 sta. and 2/24 sta. did 3 trips and man you put it like it is man! godbless you buddy and i hope you made it home safe! this is the first post on the first thread i have read on this site and i am beyond impressed! if this is any indication of the kind and quality of folks on here then i am honored to read your posts. godbless the guys serving and [beeep] the ones trying to kill em.

Doorkicker, I hope you read this. That was great! I hope you know that you are healing by what you wroteyou may not realize it but you are. Keep it up and talk or write, the experiences will always remain with you but the pains can be eased by talking and writing. I have cried many times listening to our heroes stories and I have felt their pain and yours. So many of our soldiers never heal because they think if they don't talk about it it will go away, it won't, but it is eased a bit. As a 20 yr vet I praise you and I understand. Thanks for your service and keep healing. God bless you all. I have alot of memories and my wife helped me to heal a great deal. Good luck and GOD BLESS!

awsome story man like you i will be in boot camp soon and will be going to iraq hopefully i just cant wait to get there and do my part and kick some [beeep] good story t/y for all ur doing 4 us ..will

thanks

Don't get in to much of a hurry its not that glorios, especially after having certain experiences that will change your life. Good luck if you do go.

there will never be any way that any of us could ever repay you. thankyou from the bottom of my heart. you have my undying gratitude. thankyou thankyou thankyou...

GOD BLESS EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE AND IS THERE!!! This is what EVERYONE should be aware of!!!!!!!!!!

To those in harms way -- Thanks for YOUR SERVICE.

That is the best write up ever. Thank you for posting. It was worth reading every bit of it.

Tim

Wow! For someone that was never in the service, this gives us just a taste of what you men and women are going thru, so we can enjoy the freedoms we have here in this country of ours. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, and every one of your brothers and sisters fighting for us.
My prayers are with you always.
J. O'Neil

My son did 3 tours in Iraq from the start. Everything thats wrote is true from all his emails/letters I recieved and from his pictures/videos I have.

What an awesome job in summarizing the experience of the sandbox! Thanks for sharing. Means alot to those of us who served over there.

All i can say is thanks. All are soldiers still fighting the fight God bless you. I served in Iraq and when i read this it brought back alot of feelings. It brought back memories some good some bad but it really hit home. That post cant explain it any better.

Thank you.My war was in a diff. place,diff. time,diff. circumstance,yet exactly the same. God bless our military
Mike

Thank you and "God Bless Our Troops"

I can not put to words what I felt when I read that except to say thank you and to a degee I can understand. Please be safe.

sounds like you were in the same places i was at the same times.

man, that was 7 years ago and yet it feels like last week. i ask myself if the thoughts will fade, sometimes it feels like it was a dream. stuff was so messed up over there i tell myself that it could'nt really have happend that way, yet i know it did. "war" for anyone who has not experanced it is something of an paralax. something as little boy;s we play, as young men we perpair for it. we get out minds right and go into it head first. then we relize that with all the preperation we have done, you do not know how you will react when that first bullet, mortor, rocket or IED comes close to you. some talk the talk and when the crap hits the fan they fold. others that you thought were total poo bags are the ones standing next to you in a firefight returning fire with you.

i have heard, smelled, seen and done things that i have not talked about to anyone since those days. im not ashamed but who would understand if they wernt there?

we play war,perpair for war, train for war, write wills incase we dont come home from war, but they do not perpair you for when you do come home from war..at least not real well. there is a system in place for vets to get help but there are holes in it, big holes.

i know guys that have come back to go on to become firemen, policemen, CEO's, raise a family others fall into a whiskey jug or go into the penil system, other close freinds have killed their selves because they could not cope in the real world anymore.

bottom line is fellas, most times, the "war" that doorkicker has decribed so well does not end when they get off the plane from SW Asia.

let us not forget our standing, our fallen, ours waiting in line to take their watch and the ones that have done their duty and need the same support.

It is at times a bit hard to remember the mission was to drain the swamp when your up to your [beeep] in alligators to those who have served my hats off and I wish you nothing but beans and franks

Well what is the status of "Door kicker" now ? Did he make it home ? No doubt he's a very fine patriotic soldier ,shame we can't say that about his Commander in chief .

Men that's special!

That was very special to read. Our prayers go out to you and ALL fellow service personal.

Well said brother...

B co 2/3 SFG(A)
DAV MAJ

I hope he did!

Hey guy Im from Australia. Much respect guys!

Thanks DK. I'm too old now, but wouldn't hesitate to serve again.