Bigfoot, .247 , area51, bermuda triangle, maybe just maybe we have stumbled on to something, possible something that the others don't know about. It could be that this whole .247 thing is not busted after all. What if his great grand pa (who I'm sure must have been at least a 4 star general)was stationed at area 51 way back in the day. While a top secret project to completely revolutionize the world of modern firearms was being conducted, in a joint effort between Weatherby, and the US Dept. of Defense. with whom General Grand Pappy was to report to in the event of the President's absence at the oval office. The project was on a deadline and had to completed in just 3 short months, and was code named: THE BIG BANGLESS with out anyone every really knowing how much credence that name would bring to the project.
The idea behind such a project was to develop a round of ammunition that could remain completely stealth to radar, shoot virtually as flat as a laser beam, while creating no recoil, or muzzle blast. Not to mention the fact that it had to shoot a 50 shot group into a quarter inch or less at 1000yds. This was certainly not your everyday project. No This was THE BIG BANGLESS!!!!
Development moved on rapidly due to all the aliens assisting in the project at area 51. The were light years ahead of us mere humans, and came up with all the math needed to make the formula work ,and with the help of one of the Weatherby Reps, who was very well trained at a school in the Stratosphere somewhere in Martian, the project began to take shape.
General Grand pappy was proud of all that was going on and felt certain that he would get the highest commendations for his supervision on such a paramount project as this. But then the glitch came it seems that for a cartridge of this magnitude to become fully stealth it must have brass tumbled in the finest Bermuda Sand, and only Bermuda sand will do. This was quite a problem for GGP after all they had all the sand they needed at their disposal but no bermuda sand. The last time GGP had been anywhere near Bermuda he lost control of his plane and went down near a deserted island, and had to swim for it.
It was on this island that GGP discovered something, something that had always caught his curiosity, the truth to something he had longed to know, DOES BIGFOOT EXIST? he had heard tales of it's existence for years but never really knew.
As GGP was out looking for firewood for his rescue fire he was planning to build, he saw something run inland from the beach, and it was manlike but of much larger stature. GGP was puzzled at what this manlike beast could have been was it Bigfoot? He thought. what would he be doing on a deserted island? Curiosity was getting the best of him so he decided that he would investigate after getting the rescue fire going. He went back down to where he had last seen this thing. It was there in the sand that he saw the largest human like footprints he had ever seen. He thought to himself, this must be a Bigfoot, just has to be. So he decided he would track it and see if he could find it.
He had only tracked it for about 15 minutes when he saw it sitting under a palm tree drinking a Margarita.
What a suprise it was indeed Bigfoot no doubt about it those feet had to be at least a size 33. It was then that Bigfoot realized GGPs presence, at first he started to run but didn't. What followed next, shocked GGP to no end. In the most perfect English ever spoken Bigfoot said, "Are you just going to stand there Mister or do you wanna get [beeep] drunk with me.?" GGP although in a complete stage of shock somehow managed to muster a reply, "I would be most happy to get [beeep] drunk with you." he said. So the hours passed and the liqour flowed and before long the conversation turned to Bigfoots desire to remain out of touch and hidden from man. It was Bigfoots feeling that man had nothing to offer him he told GGP, "They work for a living, I just go out and have a good time, live off the land, it provides all that I need, and what it doesn't I borrow from man, like how I borrowed this Tequila" Bigfoot said. He also said that because he was different from man, they felt they must find him, and expose him, and that he could let that happen to him. It was then that GGP heard the rescue planes searching the area again.
He ran for the fire to make sure it was putting out enough smoke, Bigfoot decided in his drunken stupor to join him. The plane began to circle, and then tipped their wing to show that they had spotted them, and would be back to rescue them in short order. GGP begged Bigfoot to come back with him to his post at area 51. He promised him that all his needs would be met, and personally guaranteed his complete anonymity. Bigfoot thought, I to have been stuck on this island ever since I sank that yacht, I stole off shore, so what the heck I'm out of liquor now anyhow. Bigfoot shook the hand of GGP and told him "I will go with you but you must keep your word!" GGP reassured Bigfoot that he would keep his word, and was overwhelmed with joy to be rescued and bring back a real Bigfoot.
Many years had passed since that successful rescue, and only GGP, and the aircrew of that plane who had been sworn to secrecy knew of Bigfoots existence at Area51. But is was now that GGP remembered something, it was something he hadn't thought about in years. A rather odd looking bag that Bigfoot brought with him on the plane, when they were rescued. That bag had sand pouring out of the seams, he wondered why he had brought it with him, but was just glad to have him with him for the return flight to Area 51, and to become lifelong pals.
With the project moving full steam ahead, everything was in place except the special Bermuda sand. So GGP decided to go and see if Bigfoot still had that old bag.
When GGP walked into the east wing of Bigfoots multi- million dollar cave, he was met with an outpouring of kindness all of the little bigfoots were there to meet and greet him. He was overwhelmed at their generosity towards him. He stayed for dinner that evening, and afterwards joined Bigfoot in the Grand Chamber for drinks.
GGP decided it was time to cut to the chase and asked about the bag bigfoot brought on the plane. Bigfoot told him that he still had it in his possesion. GGP inquired if it would be possible to get some of the sand out of it for a project that he was working on. Bigfoot was rather reluctant to give up the bag, or any of it's contents. Feeling it had sentimental value, and was one of the only souvenirs he had from his trip to the islands. GGP told him that the project could change the world, and would most certainly bring a promotion for him if successful, but he didn't really want a promotion, he wanted to retire to Florida. If the project proved to be a success it would bring good things to GGPs family, and Bigfoots..
Bigfoot thought long and hard, and decided that GGP had been good to him, his family, and GGP would never do them any harm, so if GGP really thought it was a good thing than he would go along with him. So Bigfoot went to retrieve the bag from his knitting room, while GGP sat and drank some to the best Bigfoot corn squeezins he had ever had the privilege of drinking. Bigfoot returned with the bag of sand, and GGP thanked him, and promised good things to come, as he left for the development lab.
GGP entered the lab and announced that he had in his posession the finest of Bermuda sand. The head alien, and Weatherby rep were pleased, all they had left to do was finalize the bore diameter of the cartridge. The shells were tumbled, and tumbled until absolute perfection was achieved. The bore diameter was still in question though, and all the aliens were doing long division, and trying to reason, and come up with the best possible bullet diameter to make the project a success. A young big eye claimed that if you use a bullet of .247 diameter, we would not only be able to remain totally hidden from radar, the round would be completely invisible due to all the complex ingredients, in it's inherent design. Therefore, if ever lost on the battlefield ,there would be nothing for the enemy to learn about the secret cartridge from what appears to be an empty shell casing.
They pressed forward with the .247 and Weatherby was commissioned to build only two rifles for trials. Weatherby delivered the goods on time. Two of the most exquisite rifles ever brought out from a firearm manufacturer were put to the test both functioned flawlessly not a single glitch. GGP was most pleased as he was sure that this project was a success and he would soon be able to retire in Florida and enjoy his golden years. The DOD came to Area51 to oversee the trials, and were very impressed with the results, but they feared the aliens would sell the technology to the highest bidder, and decided to scrap the project entirely. Both rifles were to be destroyed, and all data pertaining to the project was to be shredded, and burned. Any, and or all personnel even remotely involved in the project were to be sworn to secrecy for the rest of their natural born lives, if ever a word was spoken it would mean certain death.
GGP was glad the project was over, and looked forward to retiring, it had been a long fulfilling career, and he had alot to be proud of. He was looking forward to Tarpon fishing with Bigfoot, off the coast of Florida. There was just one thing that bothered him, the third rifle the only one left in the world, and only he and the Weatherby rep knew of its existence. GGP had personally shot this thing in, and killed more than his fare share of coyotes around Area51 with it, in the past weeks, some out to 900yds with eyeball shots. The folks at Weatherby weren't real happy about the project being scrapped but figured they made their money, so what the heck.
GGP finally convinced the Weatherby rep to let him take this rifle, and he would slip him a little something under the table to keep quiet. So it was done, and rifle no 3 was on its way to sunny florida, with enough ammo to last a lifetime. GGP figured that with this rifle, he could put a serious dent in the key deer population down there.
Nobody really will ever know how many key deer were killed with the most awesome cartridge ever devised the .247 Weatherby, sad but true. Nor will anyone ever be able to hear the stories he could have shared with fellow hunters about the advantages this cartridge had to offer to our sport. No one will ever be able to share in that wisdom except, his great grandson Mark H. who swears it is the finest thing ever devised by man, alien, and Bigfoot. The Big Bangless .247 Weatherby Magnum!!!