Pick one.
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce
“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney
“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” – Benny Hill
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea
“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” – Casey Stengel
“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” – Edward Abbey
“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” – George Burns
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce
“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney
“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” – Benny Hill
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea
“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” – Casey Stengel
“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” – Edward Abbey
“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” – George Burns