ATM Procedures

redhaze

Member
Sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines, enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using these ATM’s are requested to follow the procedures outlined below, when accessing their accounts."

"After months of research, both MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the ATM machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required, and withdraw it.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to ATM machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag on floor, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back, and hang up.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine, due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Withdraw and re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN from the list.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required, noting there is a decimal point on the screen to get the number correct.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Ignore the smoke and honking horns behind you.
28. Release Parking Brake.
 
Back
Top