12 Years Sober Today!

Bad Dawg

New member
Not looking for any ‘that a boys’ or props, but that doesn’t mean they are not welcomed. I more less wanted to share this incase someone is struggling with a certain addiction. I was the one that wasn’t supposed to make it, but I did, and you can too!

I will take this opportunity to share one important thing that has helped me dearly. That is, SOBRIETY IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE!! There is no ‘one path’ to that final destination. Our culture has been misinformed by the 12 step model of recovery. This information has most likely done more harm than good to many looking to get out of thier struggles with alcohol and drugs. All that is needed to find the solution is a willingness to want to be done for good, the courage to face your fears and the ability to dust yourself off as quickly as possible when you do fall.

Alcoholics and addicts have one thing in common. We all struggle with shame and remorse, and have a tendency to let it consume us. When you learn to get over that, and adopt the philosophy that we are all human and make mistakes, you will succeed.

With that being said, I still attend 12 step meetings in hopes that I can help someone else out. But, most of the times I’m that oddball in the group, sort of like I am here, on PM.

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That's awesome! I quit drinking and tobacco about 15 yrs ago. Never went to any meetings or groups and never considered myself an alcoholic. I quit for religious and personal reasons. When life gets tough I still think about crawling into a bottle to numb the pain, but never have yet. One day at a time brother.
 
Thats a very good thing.

Not to be a debbie downer, but I just had a friend and co-worker kill himself, right after Thanksgiving, because he was diagnosed with liver disease from years of drinking. He had been feeling sick and went to the doctor. Gave him 3-6 months tops. He was 51.

Mark

 
I 've attempted to help several people with drinking and drug problems. As a teacher I 've dealt with students who are just starting down that dark road, and adults that are well into the trip. What I have found is the addicts seldom suffer alone. What the addict does touches everyone that is associated with them.
You spoke of a moment when you just had to quit. I had a moment also.
I was teaching high school and had a female student that was discussing problems she had dealing with her father who had a very bad drinking problem. I directed her to various organizations that would offer her help but she always come back to touch base with me. She never missed school because she didn't want to be home with her dad.
One day she missed school. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Then she missed the next day. I asked student that LIVED near her if they knew anything about her being absent. One student said he had heard she was in the hospital. That night after I got home the phone rang. It was her. She had tried to kill herself and was almost successful.
We talked for a long time. At one point, I asked her why she had took such a deadly move without talking to me first? Tears come to my eyes when I remember her answer, even after all these years. She said, "I didn't want to bother you."
That was my moment, it changed my life.
Quitting 12 years ago has made a better world for more than just you, God bless you, continue the journey.
 
Originally Posted By: crapshootThat's awesome! I quit drinking and tobacco about 15 yrs ago. Never went to any meetings or groups and never considered myself an alcoholic. I quit for religious and personal reasons. When life gets tough I still think about crawling into a bottle to numb the pain, but never have yet. One day at a time brother.

Thanks man. Those thoughts are few and far between, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t get them from time to time. Looks like we both draw the same conclusions. It just ain’t worth it!

Originally Posted By: LONEHOWLThats a very good thing.

Not to be a debbie downer, but I just had a friend and co-worker kill himself, right after Thanksgiving, because he was diagnosed with liver disease from years of drinking. He had been feeling sick and went to the doctor. Gave him 3-6 months tops. He was 51.

Mark



Mark, I’m sorry to hear that. My father went in a similar fashion. Very sad indeed. Reality is not that bad.

Originally Posted By: AdamTGood for you.

Thanks!

Originally Posted By: Stub2I 've attempted to help several people with drinking and drug problems. As a teacher I 've dealt with students who are just starting down that dark road, and adults that are well into the trip. What I have found is the addicts seldom suffer alone. What the addict does touches everyone that is associated with them.
You spoke of a moment when you just had to quit. I had a moment also.
I was teaching high school and had a female student that was discussing problems she had dealing with her father who had a very bad drinking problem. I directed her to various organizations that would offer her help but she always come back to touch base with me. She never missed school because she didn't want to be home with her dad.
One day she missed school. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Then she missed the next day. I asked student that LIVED near her if they knew anything about her being absent. One student said he had heard she was in the hospital. That night after I got home the phone rang. It was her. She had tried to kill herself and was almost successful.
We talked for a long time. At one point, I asked her why she had took such a deadly move without talking to me first? Tears come to my eyes when I remember her answer, even after all these years. She said, "I didn't want to bother you."
That was my moment, it changed my life.
Quitting 12 years ago has made a better world for more than just you, God bless you, continue the journey.

Very moving story. Thanks for sharing your experience. You make a good point. We have the power to make this world and the people around us better.
 
12 years is a lot of 24 hour increments of time, a respectable feat for any alcoholic. If you picked up yearly medallions you would have enough to make a clock. Your sobriety and whatever works for you is what matters most, and your right there is no “one path” in recovery. What works for you might not work for others and vice versa. Like you said; willingness is a must but I think desire and repetition are just as equally important. You got to want it and you got to want it everyday. The day you want to drink more than you want to stay sober is the day you relapse. I relapsed enough times to understand that sobriety is my number one priority in life, without it nothing else matters.

It's good that even after 12 years you still want to help others, you have the ability to relate with other alcoholics in a way that no doctor or psychologists could learn from in books. Taught me the difference between sympathy and empathy, how to turn one of my greatest weakness into one of my greatest strengths. I am very active in my 12 step group, but it is what has worked for me and kept me sober for all my years. Also gives me the opportunity to work with enough wet drunks to not forget where I came from and from where I never want to return. It is all relative to ones perspective on the matter.

Ohhh yeahhhh.... respect. Mike
 
Congratulations. I started drinking at twelve or so. Drank everyday through high school. Before playing football games and after. By the time that I graduated high school Jim Beam and miller high life were my best friends.

My dad would get drunk and beat up everyone in the house. He would throw all of the furniture and everything else out in the yard. One day I snapped out of it and decided that I hated his guts and didnt want to be anything like him.

I strarted going to church with my girl friend that has now been my wife for 28 years, accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior, and joined the Marines. I havent been to my parents home in 30 years.

It is a hard road with a bottle everywhere you turn. I am happy for you. Try to save half of what you use to spend a year and buy yourself a nice eifle or a new call every year as a reward.
 
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Originally Posted By: Infidel 76212 years is a lot of 24 hour increments of time, a respectable feat for any alcoholic. If you picked up yearly medallions you would have enough to make a clock. Your sobriety and whatever works for you is what matters most, and your right there is no “one path” in recovery. What works for you might not work for others and vice versa. Like you said; willingness is a must but I think desire and repetition are just as equally important. You got to want it and you got to want it everyday. The day you want to drink more than you want to stay sober is the day you relapse. I relapsed enough times to understand that sobriety is my number one priority in life, without it nothing else matters.

It's good that even after 12 years you still want to help others, you have the ability to relate with other alcoholics in a way that no doctor or psychologists could learn from in books. Taught me the difference between sympathy and empathy, how to turn one of my greatest weakness into one of my greatest strengths. I am very active in my 12 step group, but it is what has worked for me and kept me sober for all my years. Also gives me the opportunity to work with enough wet drunks to not forget where I came from and from where I never want to return. It is all relative to ones perspective on the matter.

Ohhh yeahhhh.... respect. Mike

Thanks Jeremy. I never thought about the clock thing, but that’s a cool idea.

I was a chronic relapser as well, before I got sober for good. My experience was a bit different though. I had to step out of the rooms in order to get sober, and take a good hard look at myself. It was one of the most scary but enlightening times of my life.

Right before I got sober, I would drive out to the middle of nowhere on some deserted beach along Lake Michigan, camp out alone and trip out on acid and reflect. I’m not sure if that had anything to do with putting the cork in the jug or not. But shortly after that, I ended up becoming a success story instead of a memorial.

Originally Posted By: sandy hicksCongratulations. I started drinking at twelve or so. Drank everyday through high school. Before playing football games and after. By the time that I graduated high school Jim Beam and miller high life were my best friends.

My dad would get drunk and beat up everyone in the house. He would throw all of the furniture and everything else out in the yard. One day I snapped out of it and decided that I hated his guts and didnt want to be anything like him.

I strarted going to church with my girl friend that has now been my wife for 28 years, accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior, and joined the Marines. I havent been to my parents home in 30 years.

It is a hard road with a bottle everywhere you turn. I am happy for you. Try to save half of what you use to spend a year and buy yourself a nice eifle or a new call every year as a reward.

Thank you Sandy. I can relate with not wanting to go back to the parents house. I am much the same way. Many of those memories are bitter sweet.

My father was a Marine. He was MP at a base in San Diego. He went into the Marines to escape the poverty he was living in. He was brought up in extreme poverty and that was his way out. I remember him telling me a story about him and his brother. I guess his brother used to kick the sh** out of him while they were growing up. Well, on a leave from the Marines, my dad was visiting with the family and his brother started rough housing with him. The story goes, my father grabbed him by the shirt collar, twisted and did some type of maneuver he learned in training and almost ended up killing my uncle. I guess his eyes were darn near bulging out of his head and he was turning blue.
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Maybe I will take that suggestion and start making it a goal to buy something nice every year like a new rifle. That a good goal to have and a good reminder.
 
I've not had a drink ,since mid November. Probably will one of these days soon, when the time is right. Sitting with my g-pa (95) and talking about the old days while sipping on some crown , is one of those times.
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Originally Posted By: Tim NeitzkeCongrats to the OP and the rest who have struggled.



Thanks Tim! Enjoy the drink with your grandfather!
 
Congrats Dawg on your accomplishment. I too was a professional drinker who decided enough was enough and decided on a different path.

I will have 13 years sobriety on January 28th so we happen to share the same month!

I think back now and wonder how I actually functioned all those wasted years and it baffles me.

Again congratulations and I hope you have a lifetime of anniversaries.

Mike
 
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Originally Posted By: try2huntCongrats Dawg on your accomplishment. I too was a professional drinker who decided enough was enough and decided on a different path.

I will have 13 years sobriety on January 28th so we happen to share the same month!

I think back now and wonder how I actually functioned all those wasted years and it baffles me.

Again congratulations and I hope you have a lifetime of anniversaries.

Mike

Thanks a lot Mike!!
 
Congrats BadDawg. I been clean and sober for for close to 30 years now, maybe longer. It was actually pretty easy for me. But....I have a son that is battling drug addiction right now. He's pretty much ruined his life but is fighting to regain it. He's been clean and living in a sober house for about 6 months now. For people that have never experienced this its a terrible way to live. Not only does it ruin the persons life but it ruins the family also. Drug addiction is a terrible thing and if you fought it and won the battle then my hats off to you. So many people don't win. Congrats to you and be proud of what you've done!!
 
He can regain it! You and I and others are proof that he can turn it around. Six months is a great start. Many can’t get a day. That’s an accomplishment in my book!

I never knew that about you, Bill. That’s pretty cool to know.

And thanks a lot man! That means a lot coming from you!

Mike
 
congrats. and you're right, its not a simple road, no matter how you have to walk it.

the good part is, once you get the right circle of people in your life, those anniversaries come easier and easier
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here's to many and more to come
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Originally Posted By: fuzzytailNice job guys. Stopping is something many will never do. Takes the will power ya'll have mustered.

Thanks!

Originally Posted By: Plant.Onecongrats. and you're right, its not a simple road, no matter how you have to walk it.

the good part is, once you get the right circle of people in your life, those anniversaries come easier and easier
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here's to many and more to come
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Yes Planet, it does have a lot to do with who you allow to get close. It is about surrounding yourself with the right people. I won’t cut a relationship off completely (unless a past girlfriend, cause they’re nuts and will try to weasel their way back in once it’s over) but I will limit the time I spend with certain people if they are too dysfunctional.

I have friends who abuse alcohol and/or pills, and although I would like to spend more time with them, I limit it. Pot in my opinion, is a different story. That doesn’t bother me as much as someone strung out on pills or wasted off of the bottle.
 
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