vahunter
Active member
A Canadian female liberal wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian
government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents
(terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System
facilities. She demanded a response to her letter.
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of
treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian
Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government
and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National
Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were
heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks
to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new
department here at the Department of National Defence, to be called
'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for
short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on
a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of
concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those
citizens personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is
scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence
in Toronto next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for
pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of
complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly
inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are
commensurate with your recommendations.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your
sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help
him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing
these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan
to offer counselling and home schooling; however, we strongly recommend
that you hire some assistant caretakers.
Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbors or relatives about your house
guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can
reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive
devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those
items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him. Your
adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can
extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in
your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to
life in our country.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except
sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no
rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly
sensitive subject for him.
You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who
fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more
appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered
by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of respecting
his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.
You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a
counsellor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while
Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you
keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow
man. Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially,
Gordon O'Connor
Minister of National Defense