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#170222 - 09/06/04 12:31 PM Being A Democrat
tcusparky Offline
Die Hard Member II

Registered: 12/01/03
Posts: 1231
Loc: Wisconsin
Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking
(about it) and vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD Democrat,
however, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare them
below and see how you rate...

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
Federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach
4th graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach
those same kids all about sex.

3 You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding
Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons
technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less
affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more
affected by Americans driving SUVs'!

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion
on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

9 You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but
loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it. Like passing your exams and
being promoted because you earned it, not because you will be outcast

11. You have to believe the U.S. military, not evil, tyrannical
regimes, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it
supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are
too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General
Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
Racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and
not power. She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of
governing that we've been subjected to since our founding.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't
worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't
been in charge.

18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in
jail, but a cheat, liar and sex offender belongs in the White House,
and you would vote him back in there in a New York minute (if you could).

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest
against prayer and saluting the flag in school, the 10 Commandments
in court, have far more rights than the majority who believe in
God and country and want these values to be instilled in our young

If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs, you're
gonna be a big asset to John Kerry.
_________________________ "The a mere thing of wax in the hands of the judiciary which they may twist and shape into any form they please." --Thomas Jefferson "Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote." --George Jean Nathan

#170223 - 09/06/04 01:14 PM Re: Being A Democrat
Coyotejunki Offline
Die Hard Member with a vengeance

Registered: 04/03/04
Posts: 4944
Loc: MO
Too Funny
futuaris nisi irrisus ridebis

#170224 - 09/06/04 01:14 PM Re: Being A Democrat
tonlocus Offline
Die Hard Member III

Registered: 01/20/03
Posts: 2035
Loc: Phoenix, AZ
Tony "Those that would trade a little liberty for a little security deserve neither." Ben Franklin

#170225 - 09/06/04 05:47 PM Re: Being A Democrat
dgparrott Offline
New Member

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 6
Loc: Michigan
Not too funny, too true.

#170226 - 09/06/04 07:46 PM Re: Being A Democrat
TAC Offline
Seasoned Member

Registered: 04/20/04
Posts: 265
Loc: Oregon
Oh yeah!

I took the liberty of sending this on to everyone I knew it would piss off..

#170227 - 09/06/04 09:40 PM Re: Being A Democrat
trek Offline
Seasoned Member

Registered: 02/01/04
Posts: 117
Loc: Ia
Then last but not least burning the American flag is freedom of expression.

#170228 - 09/07/04 05:43 AM Re: Being A Democrat
jrbhunter Offline
Die Hard Member III

Registered: 05/04/04
Posts: 2498
Loc: Indiana
And that the bravest thing a man can do for his country is to throw war medals bestowed upon him over a fence in protest.


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