Binge Drinking Kills Student
Ass. Press
April 13, 2002 16:30:00
Scottsdale -
Binge drinking kills student
Binge drinking at a popular adult club in Scottsdale killed an Arizona State University student early Saturday morning. The owner of the club was apparently asleep in a back room.
What started out as typical fun turned into tragedy as chimpanzee Harry Rods succumbed to alcohol poisoning at approximately 2:30am. Attempts by emergency medical personnel to revive the monkey were unsuccessful.
“Hey, I was in the back room, totally out of it,” says Clubb Robb owner Robb. “I’ve been partying hard for, what, 60, 70 days straight, I needed a break. There are parts of my body that feel like raw hamburger, I just couldn’t keep going without some rest. In fact, I went into the back bedroom to sort laundry and I guess I just fell asleep in a pile of panties.” Asked if he too had been drinking, Robb said, “No, not that night. Two shots of Yoohoo with a chaser of Cherry Pepto Bismol, that was it for me that night.” Police called to the scene confirm Robb appeared to have just awakened.
Parties at Clubb Robb reportedly are made up of anywhere from 30 to 50 young females. “Yeah, these are fast ones,” claims Robb. “These are your Lamborghini’s here. They’re just too fast for most guys. Most guys don’t know how to drive them. I tell you what, though, once you learn how, you never go back to Chevy,” he says with a smile.
“It’s just terrible, it really is. I liked Harry, he was a good little chimp. Sorry to see him go. He was a partier, though.” From witness reports, some time around 10pm, chants of “Spank the monkey!! Spank the monkey!” echoed throughout the club. “Yeah, the girls got this spanking game. Every time you go through the spanking machine, you have to take a shot of whiskey. Harry loved that spanking machine, and I guess it ended up killing him.” In the spanking machine, an individual crawls naked down the middle of two rows of topless girls on their knees. As the individual passes each girl, he gets two or three spankings. “Some of the girls really go at it, two hands. Last time I did that all night, I couldn’t sit for a week!” Rods reportedly went through the spanking machine "Thirty or forty times. They were literally spanking that monkey all night long."
Are parties just getting too far out of control at Clubb Robb? “Oh, I don’t know about that. Everyone here is an adult, they know what they’re doing,” says Robb, as he used a broom to fish a pair of panty hose and two bras out of the tree in the front yard. “Harry just had too much too fast. It’s the way he lived, and I’m sorry to say, the way he died.”
The club itself is an unusual assortment of Western motif and African collectibles. “Killed all of these animals myself,” said Robb as he stroked a large lion-skin floor rug. “I was gonna kill this guy with an atlatl, but I couldn’t find it in time. Ended up taking him out with a pocket knife, quite the story around that one, I’ll tell you that much.” When queried about the wall of chains and leather, Robb only replied, “Well, I’m not too sure what’s up with that stuff. Some of the girls that hang out here are, you could say, creative decorators.”
Harry Rods was currently enrolled at Arizona State University as a junior. His Anthropology professor, Dr. Ben Dare, says Harry was a good student. “He had a special knack for anthropology. He seemed to have a special insight that most of us lack. He was looking at a promising future of research. Definitely one of our better students.”
Ass. Press
April 13, 2002 16:30:00
Scottsdale -
Binge drinking kills student
Binge drinking at a popular adult club in Scottsdale killed an Arizona State University student early Saturday morning. The owner of the club was apparently asleep in a back room.
What started out as typical fun turned into tragedy as chimpanzee Harry Rods succumbed to alcohol poisoning at approximately 2:30am. Attempts by emergency medical personnel to revive the monkey were unsuccessful.
“Hey, I was in the back room, totally out of it,” says Clubb Robb owner Robb. “I’ve been partying hard for, what, 60, 70 days straight, I needed a break. There are parts of my body that feel like raw hamburger, I just couldn’t keep going without some rest. In fact, I went into the back bedroom to sort laundry and I guess I just fell asleep in a pile of panties.” Asked if he too had been drinking, Robb said, “No, not that night. Two shots of Yoohoo with a chaser of Cherry Pepto Bismol, that was it for me that night.” Police called to the scene confirm Robb appeared to have just awakened.
Parties at Clubb Robb reportedly are made up of anywhere from 30 to 50 young females. “Yeah, these are fast ones,” claims Robb. “These are your Lamborghini’s here. They’re just too fast for most guys. Most guys don’t know how to drive them. I tell you what, though, once you learn how, you never go back to Chevy,” he says with a smile.
“It’s just terrible, it really is. I liked Harry, he was a good little chimp. Sorry to see him go. He was a partier, though.” From witness reports, some time around 10pm, chants of “Spank the monkey!! Spank the monkey!” echoed throughout the club. “Yeah, the girls got this spanking game. Every time you go through the spanking machine, you have to take a shot of whiskey. Harry loved that spanking machine, and I guess it ended up killing him.” In the spanking machine, an individual crawls naked down the middle of two rows of topless girls on their knees. As the individual passes each girl, he gets two or three spankings. “Some of the girls really go at it, two hands. Last time I did that all night, I couldn’t sit for a week!” Rods reportedly went through the spanking machine "Thirty or forty times. They were literally spanking that monkey all night long."
Are parties just getting too far out of control at Clubb Robb? “Oh, I don’t know about that. Everyone here is an adult, they know what they’re doing,” says Robb, as he used a broom to fish a pair of panty hose and two bras out of the tree in the front yard. “Harry just had too much too fast. It’s the way he lived, and I’m sorry to say, the way he died.”
The club itself is an unusual assortment of Western motif and African collectibles. “Killed all of these animals myself,” said Robb as he stroked a large lion-skin floor rug. “I was gonna kill this guy with an atlatl, but I couldn’t find it in time. Ended up taking him out with a pocket knife, quite the story around that one, I’ll tell you that much.” When queried about the wall of chains and leather, Robb only replied, “Well, I’m not too sure what’s up with that stuff. Some of the girls that hang out here are, you could say, creative decorators.”
Harry Rods was currently enrolled at Arizona State University as a junior. His Anthropology professor, Dr. Ben Dare, says Harry was a good student. “He had a special knack for anthropology. He seemed to have a special insight that most of us lack. He was looking at a promising future of research. Definitely one of our better students.”