kylesredapple
New member
While hunting in South Africa last year, I had been seeing some Kudu on a particular water hole and asked the Professional Hunter to put me in the hide closest to them. I was dropped off at a hide that was really bad for the wind that day so I radioed the PH to change hides. Normally one of the black trackers checks the hides for cooties and things that go bump in the night but since I was being relocated the trackers were at the skinning shed and the Kudu were close to the new hide. The PH dropped me off about three hundred yards from the hide and I walked in. When I arrived at the hide I was intently focused on the Kudu.
I set up in the hide and got my bow ready to kill a monster. Within a few minutes, I heard some rustling in the bushes behind the hide and directly in front of the only exit. I peered thru the netting on the exit and came face to face with what appeared to be a cobra head about the size of a football. The cobra gave a loud hiss and retreated to the weeds a few feet away. At this point I thought, Holy Sh!t, there is a cobra outside and he is pissed. I immediately radioed for help but no one answered. Panic began to overwhelm my common sense and being the self sustaining redneck that I was raised to be, I took inventory of what I would use to ward off the cobra attack that was inevetibailly looming in the immediate future. I had my bow, five arrows, a cooler with my lunch, and my backpack, also in the hide was a chair.
Quickly I made a strategy, all the while hearing the loud hiss and spit of the cobra as it circled my hide, undoubtedly forming its offensive strategy to have a tasty fat white guy for lunch. I had deduced that I would be best defended from an elevated position, and promptly climbed on the chair. My backpack would serve as a shield from the lunge of the cobra and my arrow would be used to stab the hideous creature once entering the hide. I was not willing to use the bow as a club because I had only brought the one, and if damaged and I managed to kill the cobra I would be done hunting which was completely unacceptable.
As the hissing and spitting continued, I continued to call on the radio "I'm being attacked by a cobra, help me!" However, I did not hear a response and knew that I was on my own. All at once, I changed my strategy, I would scream like a girl for as long as my vocal cords would allow, biding me time so that the PH would come and assist me to kill this snake. As I began screaming, I could hear the truck off in the distance, it was headed my way! Yea for me, closer and closer it came until finally the PH arrived at my hide. He was accompanied by two of my friends that had made the journey with me. They yelled from the truck "are you ok?' I said "[beeep] no I'm being attacked by a cobra and all I have is a [beeep] stick to defend my self what kind of stupid [beeep] question is that?" The PH advised me to leave the hide, to which I said "the cobra is at the entryway and I'm NOT going over it, I think I will stay in here." The PH got out with his big gun and chased the beast from the hide long enough for me to escape, at which point I ran as fast as my fat short legs would carry me and I jumped onto the hood of the truck. The PH then shot the culprit in the grass and lo and behold it was a Monitor lizard that measured 44" head to tail. My two companions named me the "Manly Man" and I have not heard the end of that.
I set up in the hide and got my bow ready to kill a monster. Within a few minutes, I heard some rustling in the bushes behind the hide and directly in front of the only exit. I peered thru the netting on the exit and came face to face with what appeared to be a cobra head about the size of a football. The cobra gave a loud hiss and retreated to the weeds a few feet away. At this point I thought, Holy Sh!t, there is a cobra outside and he is pissed. I immediately radioed for help but no one answered. Panic began to overwhelm my common sense and being the self sustaining redneck that I was raised to be, I took inventory of what I would use to ward off the cobra attack that was inevetibailly looming in the immediate future. I had my bow, five arrows, a cooler with my lunch, and my backpack, also in the hide was a chair.
Quickly I made a strategy, all the while hearing the loud hiss and spit of the cobra as it circled my hide, undoubtedly forming its offensive strategy to have a tasty fat white guy for lunch. I had deduced that I would be best defended from an elevated position, and promptly climbed on the chair. My backpack would serve as a shield from the lunge of the cobra and my arrow would be used to stab the hideous creature once entering the hide. I was not willing to use the bow as a club because I had only brought the one, and if damaged and I managed to kill the cobra I would be done hunting which was completely unacceptable.
As the hissing and spitting continued, I continued to call on the radio "I'm being attacked by a cobra, help me!" However, I did not hear a response and knew that I was on my own. All at once, I changed my strategy, I would scream like a girl for as long as my vocal cords would allow, biding me time so that the PH would come and assist me to kill this snake. As I began screaming, I could hear the truck off in the distance, it was headed my way! Yea for me, closer and closer it came until finally the PH arrived at my hide. He was accompanied by two of my friends that had made the journey with me. They yelled from the truck "are you ok?' I said "[beeep] no I'm being attacked by a cobra and all I have is a [beeep] stick to defend my self what kind of stupid [beeep] question is that?" The PH advised me to leave the hide, to which I said "the cobra is at the entryway and I'm NOT going over it, I think I will stay in here." The PH got out with his big gun and chased the beast from the hide long enough for me to escape, at which point I ran as fast as my fat short legs would carry me and I jumped onto the hood of the truck. The PH then shot the culprit in the grass and lo and behold it was a Monitor lizard that measured 44" head to tail. My two companions named me the "Manly Man" and I have not heard the end of that.
