? about the unkindest cut of all......

My wife got fixed when our last child was born, in 1991.

She has been on my arse about getting "snipped" for quite a while,"just for added precaution".

I am 40 and have no intention of ever having another child, but the thought of knife, laser, whatever hacking away near the "boys" gives me a case of the jeeebies.

I have said no many times in the past and am continuing to hold that position on the idea.

I sure as [beeep] don't need my buddies finding me crying for no reason while in a stand or on a hunt. And I will do dishes, intact, thanks.

Clayman
 
Quote:
Dogs don't even cower or whine as much as you guys are doing. Cowboy up! Their not taking your goods away, just unhooking the plumbing.



all juice, no seed /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Quote:
Quote:
(just typing it makes me cringe /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif)



Gives me the shakes, too. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Wife wants me to go.......but I'm still making excuses..... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

FWIW, she can have an IUD inserted in her DR's office and get the same results with neither of you having any surgery and her medications are then gone also. And the UID is reversible (good selling point for you /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif).



We used the IUD for a while after my third, while I was still considering the fourth. It worked for a while, but messed my wife up real bad after a few months. I'm sure this was just something odd for her as an individual, but as soon as number four showed up I had an appointment to be cut. I knew a guy that got it done like 3 months before I did and he swelled up like a couple of grapefruits - so he said, I, of course didn't look. He didn't follow the doctor's rest orders. So, when my time came, I only moved from the bed to the toilet to the couch, and then back to bed at night. I was told that if I would move as little as possible for three days, I wouldn't have any problems. My great wife brought me frozen veggies throughout the day, so I was almost always on ice, and she changed from hunting video to hunting video and even sat and watched a few John Wayne flicks with me. My procedure was on a Friday, I was back to work on Monday.
 
I'm thinking about starting up a business for those who want to get snipped but are a bit apprehensive. Here's how the business will work. You simply come in, sign up for a three month period, and off you go. Somewhere in that three month period you will be minding your own business coming out of the grocery store with the latest issue of Predator Xtreme magazine in your hand when one of our carefully trained "sedation technicians" will fire a small tranquilizer dart into your neck. When you awake you will be snipped, and will also receive a complimentary ear tag and have a registration number spray painted on your side, much like they do while conducting polar bear research.

My initial plan was a bit more sporting and involved setting up and calling the prospective target into range by using a swimsuit model repeatedly yelling “free pizza” over and over again until the target came into tranquilizer gun range, however we scrapped this approach after several field tests resulted in Rosie O’Donnell showing up repeatedly at the stands.



/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Quote:
I'm thinking about starting up a business for those who want to get snipped but are a bit apprehensive. Here's how the business will work. You simply come in, sign up for a three month period, and off you go. Somewhere in that three month period you will be minding your own business coming out of the grocery store with the latest issue of Predator Xtreme magazine in your hand when one of our carefully trained "sedation technicians" will fire a small tranquilizer dart into your neck. When you awake you will be snipped, and will also receive a complimentary ear tag and have a registration number spray painted on your side, much like they do while conducting polar bear research.

My initial plan was a bit more sporting and involved setting up and calling the prospective target into range by using a swimsuit model repeatedly yelling “free pizza over and over again until the target came into tranquilizer gun range, however we scrapped this approach after several field tests resulted in Rosie O’Donnell showing up repeatedly at the stands.



/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif





too funny /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-003.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-003.gif

mabe try a foxpro, that would work better than pizza
 
You guys crack me up! This is why I keep reading here at PM, sweatybetty's avatar and:

Quote:
Non-invasive is a new word for rubber mallet, and it only hurts till ya pass out! Its done while standing, they just lay'em on the counter and WACK



Quote:
Been there done that. Tested the equipment that night to make sure it still worked.

A few pointers.

1. Dont do it during cold weather. When those puppies begin to rise as you are walking to your truck the next morning, you will double over from the pulling sensation.

2. Go to a urologist.

3. When the guy hands you a cup and says "bring me a sample after 14 days" do not ask him in the presence of your wife "is it ok if she spits it back in the cup"

4. when he tells you to do a pre-op Shave, you do not have to shave "everything' from your waistline to your knees. If you plan to disregard this warning, just imagine a porcupine in your drawers as the hair begins to grow back.

6. If you find BC pills in your house the next year, you may have bigger problems.

 
Quote:
I knew a guy that got it done like 3 months before I did and he swelled up like a couple of grapefruits



Mrs. Dawg just had #5 on New Year's day and I'm not lookin' for #6. What's a guy who already has grapefruits to do? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
 
It takes a REAL man to have it done!

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

It those square needles they use for the pain killer that's troublesome.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif

All kidding aside, if you have it done follow the Dr's orders and take it easy for a couple of days. I went back to my job that involved heavy lifting within 36 hours. Big mistake, I had a blowout.

But its a great feeling knowing that you can have the fun just by shooting blanks.
 
Sounds like some people need to grow a pair and just have it done. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif It aint bad at all and is a safer option than having her done.
 
I havn't laughed so hard in a long time. It brought back some "great" memories.

I had it done after our third son was born. My wife and I decided that three boys was enough, and we were not going to try for a girl. So, she set me up with the appointment, and then dropped me off. Being the cheap guy I am, I'm thinking I could get this done with my K-BAR. But, as I look back at my truck, I see my wife mouth "go inside". Now, keep in mind, I live in a small town. As I was going into the urologist's office, my 60+ year old neighbor was coming out. He obviously was coming out of an appointment that involved something different than I was having. Our eyes met, we both gave kind of a half smile and nodded as we passed. I immediatly knew what he had just gone through, and he knew exactly what I was going to be doing. Talk about akward - but nothing was ever said, ever. I go in and look at a 2 year old copy of field and stream (why can't they ever get anything newer). The ugliest nurse (thank god) in the world calls me in. I stip down below the waist as instructed and then the doctor comes in, goes over the procedure with me again, and then has me lie down as he numbs the area and then leaves. He then comes back with his nurse that assists him. She is the complete inverse of the one that brought me to the room. This can not be happening. Here I am, lying on a table with just a paper blue towel lying across my waist, and the goddess of love and her double-D's walk in. I immediatly began saying a prayer to give me strength or soft or whatever. The last thing I wanted was to be embarrassed. I had to think of something else. I had to think of something depressing, like when I put my dog down. It wasn’t working – she was that hot. Thankfully, the doctor works fast. Before I know it, he's tugging on something that feels like it's attached to my tail bone. And about that time, I realize, not everything is numb. Well, that takes care of one of my concerns. Nothing like shooting pain to kill off the “present arms” salute. As he's tugging and tying knots, I suddenly get a wiff of burning flesh. I was doing good right up until that point. The smell of burning flesh usually does not bother me. But, the combinatation of the smell and the tugging got me to feeling a little queesy. Then the hot nurse looks down at me and says "you don't look so good" and starts rubbing my forehead. I’m thinking, “Oh no, not again” and at that moment, I raise my head to look at the doctor, and the door opens up, it’s the ugly nurse. She not only opens the door and comes into the room, she steps to the side, holding the door WIDE open as she announces that she is heading to lunch. Now, keep in mind - this particular room lies at the end of a short hall, and the door to the waiting room is OPEN! A young guy in his upper 20's or low 30's with his wife are sitting in the waiting room. He already looks like he is there against his will, and they look up and have a CLEAR SHOT at my view. I can see, that they can see, and they see, that I can see them seeing me - ALL of me. I remember thinking that my wife must have set this up and that I was going to have to move to another state. The rest of what happened, I guess was text book - but I'm not sure - I was already humiliated. Their was lots of tugging and burning going on. By the time he was done, he had gone through all the possible knots known to man and burned so much flesh it smelled like a cattle branding session. Trust me, I checked when I got home to make sure he didn't put his "brand" on me. As I was leaving the office, holding my specimin container for my testing to be done later, I noticed the couple sitting in the chairs. Having no dignity left what so ever, I held my head up high, and hobbled to the door. He never looked up at me, and she gave me a big smile. I'm not sure what I should take from that. And yes - this did happen. Every once in a while, I see the hot nurse or that woman at Wal-mart or somplace else in town. I wish they would move.
 
Quote:
Every once in a while, I see the hot nurse or that woman at Wal-mart or somplace else in town. I wish they would move.



You're killin' me man. I about died reading your tale. You're not helping to convince me that Mama's right and it should be me. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Thanks Mastiff. After reading that me and my boys will be "hangin' together" intact 'til the day the LORD calls me home. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Dudes

I have had open heart surgery and I would STILL have to be knocked out to have a pointed object that close to my nads.

God bless all of you brave souls!
 
I informed Mrs. Dawg I wasn't going through with it. She asked "Why not?" and I said, "Well, Trashcan over on PM started this thread and..... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Back
Top